• Don't Mess Around With Lew

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    Well, DC’s got its hustlers, NR’s got its bums,
    But Auburn Alabama’s got Big Lew Rockwell, a straight-shootin’ son of a gun
    Now Frum’s as dumb as a man can come and his ego’s really outta sight,
    But when Lew and his crew do what they do you know the folks’ll see the light,
    And that’s all right,
    And they say,
    You don’t spit on Washington’s grave,
    N’Scrap the Constitution too
    You don’t make America the Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Lew,
    (Ba da da da da, da da dum dum — da dum dum)

    Well, to Auburn Alabama came a neo-con
    Said, "I’m lookin’ for a guy named Lew
    I’ve come down south ’cause he bad-mouthed
    My boys at National Review,
    He thinks we’re a bunch of Manichees, I mean, he don’t even like the Iraq war.
    He quotes von Mises, cuts us all to pieces,
    Even worse, he says that I’m a bore,
    I’m gonna give’im what for,
    And they said,
    You don’t spit on Washington’s grave,
    N’Scrap the Constitution too
    You don’t make America the Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Lew,
    (Ba da da da da, da da dum dum — da dum dum)

    Well, a hush fell over the seminar,
    Lew picked up his favorite chalk,
    And he drew and drew, till that boy turned blue
    You shoulda heard Rockwell talk,
    He talked about the price of freedom,
    And the dangers of the neo-power drive
    And he told that boy, our country’s not a toy,
    For you to try to talk and jive.
    Man alive!
    And they sang it,
    Don’t spit on Washington’s grave,
    N’Scrap the Constitution too
    You don’t make America the Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Lew.
    (Ba da da da da, da da dum dum — da dum dum).

    Well that neo-con was agitated, now, he waved his finger in the air,
    He was screamin’ ’bout power, and the lateness of the hour, dang, the man was on a tear,
    He Said, "next we gotta take out Iran ‘n North Korea, and let’s talk about bringin’ back the draft
    And what if China nukes North Carolina,"
    And they all leaned back and laughed,
    Well, they just laughed,
    And they sang it,
    Don’t spit on Washington’s grave,
    N’Scrap the Constitution too
    You don’t make America the Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Lew
    (Ba da da da da, da da dum dum — da dum dum).

    Well the moral to my story’s kinda easy, I mean, unless you’re plumb insane
    Whatever comes, ya don’t let those Frums anesthetize your brain
    Don’t give up on believin’, after all, you know, you gotta keep’a keepin up the fight
    Just work and pray, and you know some day all the people gonna see the light,
    And that’s all right.
    (pause)
    Read lewrockewell.com
    (pause)
    Don’t drop the bomb.
    Because (you know) you don’t spit on Washington’s grave, (no never)
    N’you don’t scrap the Constitution too (no sir)
    And you don’t make America the Lone Ranger
    And you don’t mess around with Lew,
    Da da da da da — da da Frum! Frum!

    Christopher Manion [send him mail] writes from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia. A founding member of the Capitol Steps political satire group, he has written and performed songs at testimonials for Dan Quayle, Al Haig, Jesse Helms, Warren Rudman, Lawton Chiles, Vernon Walters, William F. Buckley, Jr., and Paul Weyrich. Teddy Kennedy, Hillary Clinton, Joycelyn Elders, and Manuel Noreiga have unfortunately been unable to hear their songs performed in person.

    Christopher Manion Archives

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