The Fifties, cont.

Karen De Costner and before that Joseph Stromberg inspire me to add my 50 things more interesting than the “war”:

101. Gumption Island by Felix Morley (his only fiction).

102. Cleaning your muzzle-loader.

103. Reenacting any battle from the War for Southern Independence.

104. Washing your dog.

105. Hanging out the laundry in the solar dryer.

106. Rushing to take in the laundry when the solar dryer turns to a summer storm.

107. An infomercial on getting rich in real estate.

108. Comparing the dinner entrees vs. combination dinners at a local Chinese restaurant.

109. Giving the “Gettysburg Address” in German.

110. “…playing Solitaire ’til dawn, with a deck of fifty-one…”

111. Playing poker on a Saturday night.

112. Looking at old photographs.

113. Arranging items for a yard sale.

114. Choir practice.

115. Bidding on eBay for Traficant’s toupee.

116. Putting flowers on the grave of a loved one.

117. Making a list of enemies one has outlived.

118. Reading the Florida Rules of Civil Procedure.

119. Arranging a cubicle to feng shui principles.

120. Sailing a boat.

121. Selecting and getting the right bag of coffee.

122. Drinking a cup of coffee.

123. Buying a whole box of cigars.

124. Smoking a cigar.

125. Enjoying a craft show only because you are going with your wife.

126. Making home-made wine and beer.

127. Drinking home-made wine and beer.

128. Re-reading the Saga of Hog Island.

129. Re-reading Commando by Denys Reitz.

130. Watching the Fellowship of the Ring a second time.

131. Using your father’s straight razor.

132. Using a styptic pencil.

133. Driving a neighbor to hospital, following an ambulance to make better time, and realizing you are a lawyer literally chasing an ambulance.

134. Retelling #133 at a Bar meeting.

135. Almost any baseball game.

136. Writing something for

137. Putting a red kerchief on the dog and singing Wobbly songs on Labor Day.

138. Getting a ‘phone call from an old girlfriend and not remembering her name.

139. Giving away excess food from your garden to a church kitchen.

140. Starting your second compost pile.

141. Finding something by a favorite author you had never read.

142. Watching Three Kings again.

143. Driving your pickup truck with your dog.

144. Getting a letter from the Nockian Society.

145. Flying in a sailplane.

146. Watching the septic tank get pumped out and being told everything is working perfectly.

147. Learning to play a tune on a harmonica.

148. Reciting by memory the world’s shortest short story The Scarlatti Tilt by the late Richard Brautigan, “‘It’s very hard to live in a studio apartment in San Jose with a man learning to play the violin.’ That’s what she told the police when she handed them the empty revolver.”

149. Watching a second time One Night at McCool’s.

150. Flying the Bonnie Blue flag and telling neighbors it means you have one member of your family in the armed services.

August 14, 2002