The UN is having a party next week. Since there is a good chance that if you are reading this you are US taxpayer you will undoubtedly be pleased and proud to know that this status entitles you to foot the bill for the lion's share of the shindig. It begins on July 9th. It will be a theme party and a grand time is anticipated by all. The theme will be "Illicit Trade in Small Arms and Light Weapons." The Small Arms Soiree will be held in the UN's home city of New York. That happens to be my home city too. I got out and I wish they would too.
As always, the UN is looking out for you and me and the rest of the "little guys" in the world being as how they are above feathering their own nest with more power, perks and property. They simply want to protect us from "illicit" arms. "Illicit" is an interesting word in that you cannot really say what it means until you know what is "licit." The UN, being the well intentioned expert body, gets to decide what "licit" means and there's the rub. Really, there is the first rub. There are many and most of them rub me the wrong way.
There is also the matter of defining the "small" in "small arms" and the "light" in "light weapons." As far as I can tell those words mean any firearm that you or I might possibly own. At least that is where it will start. It could probably be expanded to mean swords, pikes, bows and arrows, slingshots and your Swiss Army knife as well but give them time. An elitist cabal has to start somewhere, after all. World government wasn't built in a day, you know.
The party is all for a good cause. I'll bet you can guess what it is if you will give it a moment's thought. That right! It's for the children! The UN's web site will tell you, "Hundreds of thousands of children have been among the victims of small arms." The small matter of child victims of government bombs and policies remains UN-addressed. Different party, I guess. And the people who have earned their freedom and protected their own lives and the lives of others with small arms never get invited to these UN parties anyway. Just not "A List" caliber (oops, poor word choice).
Naturally, there will be games at the party. One highlight is expected to come when the pre-feudal third world dictatorships and the Euro-socialists form a conga line and attempt to define "internationally recognized standards and provisions regarding marking, record keeping and import / export control of firearms." Won't that be great? The UN-elected, UN-accountable, UN-believably self-righteous UN will tell us how to make our guns, how we will have to track them and how, where, when and to whom we can sell them. I can see why they are so excited! It's good to be King Kofi.
The Small Arms Soiree is a really big deal in left wing, statist, world government, we know best so you better do as we say or we'll bomb you too circles. Big like the Oscars. And like the Oscars, the main event is inspiring offshoot (sorry, another poor choice of words) parties. The International Action Network on Small Arms, I'm not making this up, is so excited by all of this self-serving Big Brother action that they have designated July 9th as Small Arms Destruction Day. Well, la di da.
The International Action yadda yadda yadda is based in London. If you have been paying attention you already know how well England's gun ban is going. It has been a major success. If you are a member of the government or organized crime (I hate redundancy. Hate it.), that is. These Brit boys are positively giddy about this whole deal and have called for public events wherein small arms will be destroyed. If you are a criminal this is a great labor saving service as you will know the safest place to ply your trade well in advance. So thoughtful, those Brits.
Now remember to keep all of this in perspective and not get too carried away. It is small arms and light weapons that are the enemy here and that should be destroyed on July 9th. Don't expect the UN or any of its member states to be tossing tanks, or jet fighters or, heaven forbid, nukes onto the bonfire. That's not happening, folks. But you should feel free actually, since this is the UN, you should feel compelled to drop by and toss a Colt Python or a nice lever action Winchester onto the fire. For the children.
Or here's an even better idea. Celebrate the opening of the Small Arms Soiree and Small Arms Destruction Day in true liberty loving American fashion. Buy a gun! We can have one of those anti-Oscar type parties. They always look like more fun anyway. You get to dress down and there are no Baldwins. Kick the pre-feudalists and the Euro-trash in the seat of the pants like a good old-fashioned American should. Go to your nearest gun shop. Go to Wal-Mart. Go to a pawnshop. Even better, go to a local gun show because it will drive them crazy in even more ways. Go out and pick yourself up a piece. Make July 9th Buy A Gun Day all across the republic. Show the international Big Brotherhood that the Second Amendment isn't just the law. It's a good idea. And one that we aren't about to give up just because some thickly accented bureaucrat who doesn't even pay his parking tickets says so.
You can even choose the theme for your party. If you are thinking along the lines of a housewarming party, consider a nice 20 gauge pump action shot gun. Enough kick to stop anyone who needs stopping but not so much recoil that you won't be able to squeeze off a second round in case he brought a friend. Good parties always get gatecrashers. Best of all, the click of the pump is so attention grabbing and UN-mistakable that you probably will never even have to fire it in anger. Just that lovely sound will generally set your average slime to running the other way. There's always another party, after all.
If you are more the man-about-town type and you are thinking concealed carry you might go for something nice in a semi-automatic pistol when dressing for dinner out. I chose a .380 Sig because I liked the balance of light weight, slim profile and near total reliability. You might say that it lacks something in stopping power and you might be right. But then, it always fires and it doesn't make my pants fall down.
There are plenty of themes to choose from for your Buy A Gun Day party. My wife is a confirmed wheel gun person who swears by her .38 Special revolver. Consider it. Or you might want to go plinking with a .22 varmint rifle. Why not take up some serious hunting with something larger from Marlin or Savage Arms? AK 47's are always a blast. Pick up a nice machine gun and let Dr. Ignatius Piazza teach you its fine points out at Front Sight in Nevada. It's your party and you can buy what you want to.
But if you are as sick of the UN and its attempts to infringe on American sovereignty as I am, buy a gun on July 9th. If Chuck Schumer, Sarah Brady, Rosie O'Donnell and the rest of the pea brained, gun grabbing, do gooder brigade have ticked you off one time too many, let them know in no uncertain terms. Buy a gun on July 9th. If you have ever even considered owning a firearm for any reason, now is the time. Send a message to the world government elite that ordinary Americans are mad as hell and are not going to take it anymore. If you love liberty, celebrate Buy a Gun Day. Buy a gun on July 9th. Pass it on.
June 29, 2001