• Albert Gore Is My Name

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    Wednesday
    night in his concession speech, Al Gore said that he was going
    Back to Tennessee to "mend fences, both figuratively and
    literally." When we heard those words, an image began to
    form in our minds, a tune to flutter at the fringes of our memories…
    What was it, that melody we remembered oh so well? Ah, The Band!
    – "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down." Suddenly,
    we saw Gore transformed to a mythic figure, a Virgil Caine for
    the modern age:

    Albert
    Gore is my name
    I worked out a great campaign
    Till Dubya’s lawyers came
    And threw out my votes again
    I was the winner I am quite certain
    I know the true intent of those behind the curtain
    December 12, the Supreme Court fell
    That’s a night I remember oh so well

    The
    night they drove old Al Gore down
    All the pundits were grieving
    The night they drove old Al Gore down
    Jesse Jackson’s still believing
    They went, "Waah, waah-waah, waah-waah-waah
    Waah-waah waah-waah, waah-waah waah-waah-waah"

    Back
    with Tipper in Tennessee
    When one day she calls to me
    Albert, quick come see
    There goes another Bushie
    Now I don’t mind mendin’ fences
    I’m not quite in my right senses
    You can take the Midwest, even take Kentucky
    But they never should have taken my state from me!

    The
    night they drove old Al Gore down
    The Democrats were shouting
    The night they drove old Al Gore down
    Paul Begala couldn’t stop pouting
    They went, "Waah, waah-waah, waah-waah-waah
    Waah-waah waah-waah, waah-waah waah-waah-waah"

    Like
    my father before me, I am a DC man,
    Like my father above me, who took a rebel stand.
    He was just 62, proud and brave,
    When a GOP dog dug his political grave,
    I swear by the chads down below my feet,
    You can’t keep a Gore down even in defeat.

    The
    night they drove old Al Gore down
    Despite David Boies’ fees
    The night they drove old Al Gore down
    Despite Paul Krugman’s pleas
    They went, "Waah, waah-waah, waah-waah-waah
    Waah-waah waah-waah, waah-waah waah-waah-waah"

    December
    16, 2000

    Gene
    Callahan is a regular contributor to mises.org,
    and Stu Morgenstern is contributing editor at The
    Frumious Bandersnatch.

    2000, Gene
    Callahan
    and Stu Morgenstern

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