Fixing America?

We live in a country where our primary institutions are badly flawed: church, state and school.

Medical care is catching up fast and having recently had occasion to see affirmative action at work in that realm, the prognosis frankly, is poor. That may be good news to those that adore third world cultures but I've noticed that such people have rarely spent any time in an actual third world country. Your chance is coming soon folks — I hope you like it!

We are ruled incongruously enough, by lawyers, whom everyone purports to despise. Since 1865 a fair sized portion of the country has lived under the heel of an occupier and our erstwhile republic is long dead, and un mourned. It seems to me that we have a lot of problems and that obviously there is much that needs fixin'.

The devil is in the details and to busy Americans, understanding those details is often more of an intellectual challenge than they wish to address. Many in fact, think everything is hunky dory. The parasites get their checks, the politicians are happily dipping their snouts, we are not currently ducking bombs or missiles, and who cares if the kiddies can't read. It doesn't take much to understand Ted Turner's environmental hero cartoons — after all, the adults who created them have the same intellectual capacity as the little mush heads who watch them.

Not all children are dumb (yet). My grandson is only two but much smarter than most adult Americans. One, he can tell when something isn't working, and two, he instinctively understands the implied relationship between children and adults. What he lacks in words he makes up in communication skills: "Broke Paw Paw!" is more than a mere observation. It carries with it the assumption that not only will I concur with his analysis, but that I will take immediate remedial action.

Americans, who pursue the politics of the barnyard and call it freedom, not only cannot discern when something is broken, they acknowledge no duty to fix it regardless of whether it is of importance to their children. Yet they are concerned about the issues we face and it behooves us to consider their concerns. So let's look at what folks are truly worried about, and see if we can come up with some quick fixes.

China! Those pesky Chinese are harvesting organs from executed criminals and plotting to take over the world — I have it on good authority from both the left and the right. (Both of whom conveniently forget that in America, we harvest body parts from murdered children) The Christian right has joined in crying as always, that something must be done. That "something" means government action of course, for who would dare to assume that individuals might be of some use without the protective umbrella of Mother State?

Let's consider the options then: what should be our policy toward China? We are mad at them, and fear that they will attack some remote province of theirs that has seceded from the mainland. Since we know secession is always bad and is only practiced by racists, we should bomb Taiwan?! No, wait, that can't be right — we're supposed to love them and hate the mainland. That's why we periodically send warships and spy planes over there in the name of peace. Yet the Taiwanese are not building world class weapons despite having that capability so it must be that we need to fight the mainland Chinese just because we, well, want to.

Having considered all the facts available, the only option I see is to nuke the Chinese. No, I haven't been sitting on Jonah Goldberg's haunted sofa, I've been applying the logic that is presented against the facts as they exist and I don't see another option — unless of course, we just did nothing at all and minded our own business. But that would be too rational. "It wouldn't", as Mr. Hearst once put it in reference to another war, "sell newspapers."

Consider the facts — our feminized military couldn't handle a street fight with the Crips without calling in tac air. Those Chinese fellows kicked us out of North Korea in the middle of winter, wearing tennis shoes. They truly are some tough hombres. Plus, they are bound to be a little annoyed if we stick our noses in their business. Like Dear old Father Abraham was, if you recall, when the French and British considered intervening on the side of the South during our second attempt at winning and keeping our freedom.

Economic sanctions? I think we tried that with the Japanese, didn't we? Since the goal of such sanctions is obviously war anyway, why bother with a boring intermediate step like that? Besides, like the "Americans" in California, the citizenry would rise up in outrage were they deprived of cheap Chinese goods. They'd call for price controls and even more of the socialism that caused our domestic prices to be so ridiculously high. Thus war is the only answer.

Yet if we want a war with China we better think it over real carefully. It's a pretty safe bet that after we run out of "smart" bombs it's back to "dumb" grunts and we've feminized the testosterone out of them so that leaves one thing: nukes. If you don't like that answer, don't worry — the decisions are made without any recourse to what you like. That's were the logic leads folks — if you want a war with China, get out your lead lined underwear. You'll have to count me out though — I'm not mad at the Chinese despite the failings of their political leadership. Since our leaders are arguably more corrupt than theirs, and we imprison hundreds of thousands more of our own citizens than do the Chinese, I just can't work up a head of steam for that.

Let's examine some more issues that obsess our people and see if we can solve those problems as simply as we did the minor problem of China.

The National Rifle Association certainly gets the socialist media weenies in an uproar — and must therefore be a problem that requires some fixin.' Yet this one eludes me. Who would profit by getting rid of that bunch? The NRA is a limp wristed bunch of statists at its core and were it to disappear I'm afraid all that would happen is those poor pathetic bimbos who profess to be "journalists" would have to find some new organization to hold up as a "straw man" in their attacks on the US constitution. So that's no fun.

What about the church? The enemies of freedom are sure the church triumphant lurks in the background, preparing some new assault on their sacred right to murder their babies and copulate like animals in a barnyard. Would that it were so. Examination reveals the opposite to be the case.

The mainstream churches in America, except for providing employment for many high toned n'er do wells, might as well close the doors. The churches no longer worry themselves with issues like salvation through grace — too trivial a concept for the modern theological savant. They have moved to the left or the right but the bottom line is they have moved, and that movement has left them standing at government's door, hand out as supplicants. So the moral authority of the church, which comes from Christ, no longer exists. It would be intolerant to base a church on but a single means of salvation. Besides, there is so much going on and so many real issues to worry about. The Methodists wish to support abortion and prop up the Korean communists while the other "progressive" churches are busy ordaining lesbians and worrying about the weighty issues of sex — very much like anything but a church. So who puts the moral brakes on government? We don't need no stinking brakes!

And what are the "conservative" churches worried about? China, apparently, and getting some of Uncle Dubya's largess. That storm troopers are kicking people's doors down in America using pretexts that can and will subsequently be used against the non apostate churches is of no moment to them — the "non apostate" clause you see. So from what I'm hearing, the media/left/government conglomerate considers churches places that should be closed down because of their "intolerance"– yet all the mainstream churches support them! Why even Jimmy Carter, the poster boy for government incompetence and slippery Christianity, has said that the church is bad and is even forming his own, new improved church to make up for the many deficiencies in those ones he encountered that teach Biblical verities. What to do? No wonder liberals and other fellow travelers spend so much time in therapy.

Let's try another. Education is something everyone purports to care about.

The schools are hopelessly flawed but what are Americans worried about? Classroom size! More pay for teachers! Prayer in school. Well folks, here is the latest word — the decent kids are praying every day — praying that the day will end, that the nonsense they are hearing will not destroy their minds, that the idiots sitting next to them won't erupt in violence, and that real teachers will one day appear. Those kids are wondering what on earth is wrong with their parents and why did those lazy bozos send them to such a horrible place. But after a while, they stop thinking at all, crank up MTV, grab a handful of condoms and get with the game plan. They will make fine citizens of the new world order where little is required and much is guaranteed.

The only choices available with public schools are to throw petrol on the fire in the form of more extorted money, or of course to close them down! I'm leaning towards the latter idea myself. Americans however, will saunter along merrily with their masters and trust the folks who broke the schools to fix them, only for lots more money extorted from who? Me…

Home schooling anyone?

Switching gears again, let's see what is being done to keep Alice from going too tall.

Lots of people seem to be really in an uproar about drugs. That of course, should spark a lot of debate in a free society but for some reason it does not. Left and Right, they both agree. People who take drugs without prescriptions offend the masters; they offend the AMA, and the pharmacy cartels, why those folks are just plain bad! Shoot u2018em or lock u2018em up and be done with u2018em. So its awfully hard to propose a fix when the fix is in. The drug war rages, and the guns are pointed at us. We don't mind though, it's for the children. It's enough to make you want to get stoned, but then, that's enough to make Mother State unleash the whole tamale, right on top of your head.

Everyone complains constantly about the government so there must be something we can do there.

We won't discuss the failings of government here, but rather the achievements. Getting that constitution out of the way was a big one. Soon they'll be able to destroy the last vestiges of it and get rid of the guns and that annoying internet that upset poor old Hillary so badly. As our right wing friends have reminded us frequently, you have to give up some freedom to keep it. Seems strange how left and right agree on so many important issues! Sometimes it just blows my logic so badly that I have to reboot! Since we have no choices with government I can't suggest much in the way of fixes. My nuke u2018em logic is safely ensconced in the war plans of the Pentagon anyhow so they don't need me to tell them that.

Then there is always the Hero, John McCain, who will fix government by cutting off debate. This idea appeals to many so maybe it's a good one.

Yet there is another choice available. We could bring our troops home and stop poking our noses in other people's business. We could live by rule of law under a constitutional republic. But we know all too well that it won't happen under this government and that leaves us only one choice if we wish to opt out: secession. I like that one but folks seem to get mighty irritated when I mention it for a whole variety of reasons. So it follows that the default choice here ultimately will be to fight a war with somebody, and probably pretty soon. Gets the citizenry back on track, builds patriotism, and is of course, good for the economy. So they tell us…

The Middle East is looking mighty messy these days, and for reasons that elude me America supports both sides in that endless quarrel. I've mentioned that a lot of folks want a war with China. My money is on Europe though — that's the one place where war is always guaranteed. I'm just playing the statistics but I think my logic is sound — besides, it's time to finish off that western European cultural mess and fill it back up with culturally diverse immigrants anyhow — just ask any of the former governments of the former states in the EU. (Just don't ask the citizens)

We won't consider the logic of government and war too much — because there isn't any. Just remember that they go together like murder and mayhem. But hey — no problemo. Since the churches got out of the faith business, it's only natural to direct it toward Mother State. And when you send little Buffy off to war, remember, it's your duty and there is no doubt some weighty reason that we simply haven't got time to go into. Remember, as one particularly cogent reader pointed out to me recently, "If you don't like it here, leave!"

God willing, I will be leaving soon. But mark this; I plan to take my state with me!

July 16, 2000