The War on Auto Terrorism

Since we have more chance of being hit by lightning or drowning in our own bathtub that being the victim of a terrorist attack, I wonder if conservatives–who believe so devoutly in federal power and competence–would support a federal war on something far more deadly and imminent: auto deaths.

Maybe the Department of Homeland Transportation could install a governor on each car engine, limiting the speed to 55mph. Massive, armored vehicles would be mandated as well, along with helmets for drivers and passengers.

Each car would have a government gps and spy camera and mic, to make sure we went where we were supposed to, at the speed and with the safety we were supposed to, and that we do not engage in arguments, criticisms of the Leader, or other distracting behavior. Oh, and no radios, CDs, or cellphones.

Cops and prosecutors would be freed from irrelevant and anachronistic due process. Jail the evildoers indefinitely.

That could easily save 25,000 lives a year, 175,000 since 911, if we had had the War on Auto Terror.

Are we to be ordered around, our freedom circumscribed, our choices limited? A small price to pay for security, conservatives. Indeed, why not have the total, patriotic state in all areas? And if not, why not?

So many die from heart attacks. Maybe the feds should also rule our diets and exercise. If freedom matters not at all, and the feds really do know best, why not full fascism, instead of the present partial version?

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11:30 pm on September 14, 2007