Pygmalion,
Neocon-Style
by Karen
Kwiatkowski
by Karen Kwiatkowski
One man
in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there’s one with slight defects.
One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
~
A
Hymn to Him, My
Fair Lady
Mystified
and mystifying, our Secretary of Defense, the American Henry Higgins,
exclaims "Why
Can’t Iraq be more like Kazakhstan?"
God
love him, Rummy is a character! I almost broke out into song! Well,
I was already chuckling to read that Alan Greenspan had apparently
consulted LewRockwell.com and discovered that the social security
project was just
another big fat federal tax on top of all the others. Who knew?
But
back to the Kazakhs. The LA Times reports "Rumsfeld
sought to compare Kazakhstan, which willingly dismantled its nuclear
arsenal years ago, with Iraq despite the fact that the latter
did not possess nuclear weapons." Now, I don’t know what the
LA Times is trying to say, but what in the heck does having
nuclear weapons have to do with it?
The
key word here is "willingly." Sure, you might think that
"nuclear weapons," or "arsenal," or "dismantle"
are the operative expressions, but of course, you’d be wrong. Like
Ahmed Chalabi says, finding time between getting US contracts for
himself and his relatives, and politicking for a place in the American
puppet government in Baghdad, "What
was said before is not important."
Chalabi,
if I may interpret, means to say that words and facts have no intrinsic
value, but only instrumental value, as a means to an end. Words
don’t have to mean anything, and facts exist only to be described
in such a way to ensure we get what we want. For neocons and other
pre-logic humans, getting what one wants is the only thing that
matters.
In
fact, like three-year-olds, neocon "thought processes are characterized
by great awareness; yet these islands of sophistication exist in
a sea of uncertainty. Children during this period still understand
relatively little about the world in which they live and have little
or no control over it. They
are prone to fears and they combat their growing self-awareness
of being small by wishful, magical thinking.
Hanging
around people like this, and getting his policy advice from them,
it’s no wonder Secretary Higgins, er, Rumsfeld is often confused
about what we know, don’t know, think we know, think we don’t know,
and know we don’t think we know. Don’t get me started with what
we know now, and what we now know we don’t know.
But
back to My Fair Country, Iraq as it were. Why can’t Iraq be more
like Kazakhstan, indeed? For example, as in Kazakhstan, why can’t
Baghdad build a square building and Chalabi-style, call it "the
Pentagon," after the great five-sided dominator of all that
we survey? That would not only be a great place for the
new US Forces, Iraq commander to sit, it would demonstrate a
suitable fawning deference as well!
And
the Kazakh President Nursultan A. Nazarbayev "dismantled with
fervor." I truly think, that to avoid being on the pointy end
of the U.S. spear, attitude is everything. Saddam simply had a bad
attitude. Posing as still harboring weapons just to scare people,
trash talking equally both the Likud vision and bin Laden’s caliphate
dreams, switching to the euro, all these actions showed Saddam to
be a dirty faced little wretch, brash and cocky with a really bad
accent. Kind of like Eliza Doolittle.
President
Nazarbayev provides another model, one that Secretary Higgins
likes a lot for potentially oil and gas rich regional presidencies.
Naz, if I may call him that, served as Communist Party First Secretary
and Chairman of the Supreme Council through 1989 to 1990, then was
elected by the liberated and freedom loving people of Kazakhstan
by a margin of 98.7%. In 1995, the presidency was extended for five
more years by a popular referendum, and in 1999, he ran again for
president and was again elected. That time, only 80% of the votes
were cast for the decade-long incumbent, but still a pretty good
showing, don’t you think?
And
Nazarbayev is one of the few Muslim presidents who is actively contributing
to the coalition of the willing, in the vast liberation and occupation
project that is Iraq today. He is maintaining a presence of 27 Kazakh
mine-clearing engineers. What a guy! Hey, I have an idea! Why can’t
we send 27 engineers to Iraq and call it even!
The
neoconservatives
running our foreign policy in Iraq need a few more like Nazarbayev.
The right attitude. The right government and presentation. The right
kind of cooperation. My goodness, a man could fall in love with
a country like that!
And
unlike in Iraq, you don’t hear Kazakhs singing with Liza,
Then they’ll
march you, enry iggins to the wall;
And the King will tell me: "Liza, sound the call."
As they lift their rifles higher,
I’ll shout: "Ready! Aim! Fire!"
Oh ho ho, enry iggins,
Down you’ll go, enry iggins!
Just you wait!
Not
yet, anyway. But isn’t neoconservative foreign policy loverly!
February
27, 2004
Karen
Kwiatkowski [send her mail]
is a retired USAF lieutenant colonel, who spent her final four and
a half years in uniform working at the Pentagon. She now lives with
her freedom-loving family in the Shenandoah Valley, and writes a
bi-weekly column on defense issues with a libertarian perspective
for militaryweek.com.
Copyright ©
2004 LewRockwell.com
Karen
Kwiatkowski Archives
|