Dogs
in Bulletproof Vests
by
Bill Bonner
by Bill Bonner
DIGG THIS
A question from the classics:
"What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health,
out of debt, and has a clear conscience?" asked Adam Smith. It was
a rhetorical question in the eighteenth century.
And we have a real answer. Or rather, an unreal one.
A bubble!
Twenty years ago, the total notional sum of derivatives in the
entire world was close to zero. At least that is the impression
you get from looking at a chart showing the growth of derivatives
in the years since. From nothing, the global supply of derivatives
has risen faster than the NASDAQ...faster than oil...faster even
than prices of Mayfair apartments. Other market bubbles were soap
bubbles compared to the Hindenburg of derivatives, which the latest
estimates judge to be worth some $236 Trillion – or about eight
times the GDP of the entire planet. In other words, derivatives
make up a bubble larger than the old globe itself.
What a jolly time to be alive. There in front of us is the fattest,
juiciest bubble that has ever existed. If only we had a long sharp
pin in our hand!
But what are these derivatives, readers might want to know.
They are debt. Packages of debt. Bundles of debt. Piles of debt.
Rocky Mountains of debt.
Debt that is stuffed into hedge fund portfolios as an investment.
Debt that is laid away at insurance companies and pension funds...as
an asset. Debt that is traded, extended, extruded, pressed, bolted,
wrung out and wadded up. It is debt for all seasons...all people...
all times and place...it is Urbi and Orbi Debt...
There. We have given you the technical description of it. What
follows is an answer to the question: what do all these bubbled
up derivatives really mean?
Derivative contracts are sometimes so difficult to understand that
it takes teams of dusty mathematicians to keep an eye on them. That
gives financial institutions comfort, but it shouldn't. Long Term
Capital Management of Greenwich, Connecticut had two Nobel Prize
winners among its quants when it managed to blow itself up after
placing a few bad bets.
Why? Because behind the arcane complexity of derivative contracts
are the simple-minded human beings who are at any moment in only
one of two positions: long or short. Every contract is a bet. And
every bet can go either way.
You might think that this means the whole shebang is a zero-sum
proposition. Let them blow up, you might say; the longs and the
shorts will offset each other. For every winner there will be a
loser...and for every half dozen fools separated from his money
there will be a new billionaire with peculiar art in a monstrous
mansion in Greenwich.
Alas, that is not the whole story. Derivatives are not a zero-sum
game...but a game in which the actual odds themselves follow long
patterns of boom and bust. There are, for example, trillions of
dollars worth of securities whose value is derived from the housing
market. Fast-talking lenders write adjustable-rate, payment-optional
mortgages for slow-witted homeowners. Then, they sell the contracts
on...whence they are packaged with thousands of others into a mortgage-backed
security (MBS). The mortgage-backed security is backed by a mortgage.
But who backs the mortgage? That would be those sad sacks you read
about in the papers, who stretched too far to buy too much house
with an ARM far too long and too complicated for them to grasp.
Most of the time, and especially during the long bull market in
housing – roughly equal to the bull market in credit derivatives
– the payers are ready and able to pay. Sometimes they are not.
When they are not...the security of mortgage-backed securities disappears.
America's average mortgage payer has not had a real wage increase
in 34 years. Instead, he has become upwardly mobile by proxy...
piggy-backing on the shiny surfaces of bubbles...in credit...in
debt...in housing. But there must come a day when the bubbles take
a bath...when the poor homeowner must find another money-tree or
miss his mortgage payment. And when he misses, what a hit he will
take. And that will be the day all the bubbles blow up at once –
including the mother of them all, the bubble in derivatives.
• As empires age, all their institutions get hollowed out. The
old institutions are still there, but they serve new masters – the
parasites who have taken control of them. Today, we look briefly
at America's defense institutions. Of course, we still have a Department
of Defense, but its major activity is no longer defending the nation.
Instead, it has been taken over by its suppliers and the world-improvers.
That is why we have a war in Iraq. No one can know the future, but
even we cannot stretch our imaginations far enough to see how Iraq
ever presented any military threat to the United States of America.
Why does the War on Terror go on? It has been five years since
a tiny band of fanatics brought down the World Trade towers. Since
then, hundreds of billions have been spent to protect the homeland
– but we wonder, from what? Since 2001, terrorists have caused fewer
deaths in America than allergic reactions to peanut butter. We are
awaiting a War on Peanuts....
But the spending...the searches...the bullying...the scare-mongering
continue. Why? Because it pleases the parasites.
Since 9/11, reports The Observer in London, "a highly lucrative
industry" has arisen in the United States of America – protecting
the homeland from terrorists. Not since Lucky Luciano teamed up
with Meyer Lanksy has there been such a protection racket in the
United States. In the entire fifty states, there may not be enough
terrorists to fill a small county jail, but that doesn't mean there
isn't any money in homeland security. In fact, since the dawn of
the 21st century, almost half of all new jobs have come, directly
or indirectly, from two booming industries – housing and homeland
protection – one a delusion, the other a diddle.
"Seven years ago, there were nine firms with federal homeland security
contracts. Now there are 33,890. Since 2000, $130 billion of government
contracts have been dished out."
"There
is a powerful economic incentive," continues the report, "to exploit
the terror threat – even government officials are leaving office
to join the gold rush. John Ashcroft, former Attorney General, controversially
extended state surveillance powers before leaving to set up the
Ashcroft Group, which lobbies on behalf of technology firms aiming
to capitalize on the new powers."
The
Observer wonders whether the money was well spent. It mentions
one contract, for example, to provide bullet-proof vests for dogs
in Ohio. Is that a worthwhile expenditure? We don't know. But we
will take a wild guess: from now until Hell freezes over, not a
single American Homelander will be saved from terrorists by a dog
from Ohio wearing a bullet proof vest.
September
16, 2006
Bill
Bonner [send
him mail] is the author, with Addison Wiggin, of Financial
Reckoning Day: Surviving the Soft Depression of The 21st
Century and
Empire of Debt: The Rise Of An Epic Financial Crisis.
Copyright
© 2006 Bill Bonner
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