A poll out Monday …showed that nearly a quarter [of Britons] think Winston Churchill was a myth while the majority reckon Sherlock Holmes was real. ~ AFP Feb. 3, 2008
If you were one of the thousands taken in by the "Ron Paul" hoax, possibly maxing out your campaign contributions, don't get angry, get happy…because there's a silver lining to this cause without a rebel. Just in case you haven't heard, our favorite urban myth was exploded yesterday in a terse press release from Rationalization: The official magazine of Beltway Libertarianism. To follow up on the story Rationalization has tracked down Don Tazmibro, putative campaign manager for America's most famous fictional candidate. Whether you're in a state of denial, or just think that you've denied the state it's monopoly on absurdity, what he told our reporter should be of interest.
Rationalization: I'm sure a lot of people are surprised and upset to learn that Ron Paul doesn't exist. Don't you think you owe his supporters an apology?
Tazmibro: Upset…yes, I think I can understand that. But I don't think anyone could really be surprised. Ron Paul has always been a non-person in Washington and the national media…when, on top of that, he turned out to be a mythical as well, it shouldn't be particularly astonishing.
Rationalization: As you know there are still some people who claim that Ron Paul exists…how are you going to deal with that?
Tazmibro: I don't see that there is a problem there. It's like Elvis sightings, people see him because they want to…that's all there is to it.
Rationalization: So he gives people hope…like Superman.
Tazmibro: Something like that.
Rationalization: What's surprising to me is how long you got away with it…especially in today's age of the internet when there are all sorts of skeptic groups, you know, the ones who go after false claims and hoaxes…they should have been on to "Ron Paul" as soon as you can say Bigfoot.
Tazmibro: It's a little unfair to say they were asleep at the wheel, since we were aided by an unusual set of circumstances, all of which conspired to give "Ron Paul" the benefit of the doubt, even among professional doubters. These things work like stage magic, you have to have some sort distraction, something which puts the skeptics off on the wrong tack.
Rationalization: I see, and what would that have been?
Tazmibro: Well, remember in the early days of the campaign, when the "Ron Paul" phenomenon really started to get off the ground. Of course there were all these blogs and youtubes and whatnot…and suspicious minds being what they are…they could figure out that something was going on. But they took the bait, and pretty much said something like the following: "Look, there can't be so many Ron Paul supporters out there, it must be done with mirrors." They thought there was a candidate with no supporters.
Rationalization: When in fact there were supporters without a candidate!
Tazmibro: Precisely! That was the misdirection, and you know, the skeptics could never extract themselves from that obsession once they had taken the bait…it was all about "Ron Paul's" support in this or that demographic…nobody ever thought of reversing the telescope and taking a hard look at whether someone so remarkably like one of the founding fathers could really exist in today's political world. It was an illusion which only became more efficacious with the exponential increase of "Ron Paul's" following…the supporters tended to give the candidate credibility…or at least reality.
Rationalization: I'd like to talk a little bit about how you conjured up the candidate.
Tazmibro: Well, there's nothing to that! Anybody who, say, had been a subcontractor with a Disney firm and had access to the internet could have done it. Naturally we didn't want anyone who looked like a modern politician…so we settled on an avuncular septiginarian country doctor type. And we had wonderful actors…especially the people who played his family. That and the computer graphics…
Rationalization: No I don't mean his physical appearances so much as…how did you give his character the kind of weighty substance which made him seem authentic…actually much more of a credible person than most people in the public eye?
Tazmibro: Yes, that was the real trick…and I don't mind saying that it took an enormous amount of research to get everything just right. What we were aiming for was a persona which resonated with all which was good but had been lost in the original Republic. We wanted a kind of synthesis of Jefferson and other of the more radical founders, but on top of that the kind of orator who could have held his own in, say, the tariff debates in the US Senate during the 1820s.
Rationalization: So "Ron Paul" is really a kind of composite?
Tazmibro: Very much so…but as they say, the devil is in the details, and we really had to work like devils to develop a bio to match a contemporary person with those kinds of vanished pristine attributes. For example, where on Earth is he supposed to come from? Pennsylvania of course! Why? Well, it just has to be that way…but then to get a little southern and western sympathy we have him moving to Texas in mid-life.
Rationalization: I notice he's supposed to have graduated from "Gettysburg College."
Tazmibro: Yes, we went all out to fit in as many of those historical resonances as possible. Actually I think we overdid it…and somebody could have called us on something as simple as that right from the beginning. But you see what we were aiming at…the crucible of the American spirit, the oratorical tradition of the 19th century…and so on.
Rationalization: Speaking of orations…there has been a lot of criticism directed at the mainstream media for minimizing and trivializing the input of "Ron Paul" during the debates. I suppose these revelations put everything in a new light.
Tazmibro: I hope so. It really makes me sad to think that hard feelings have been created over this. The truth of the matter is that the "Ron Paul" campaign has had wonderful relations with the media. They were very tolerant and understanding of the fact that Ron Paul didn't exist, and gave him the appropriate coverage. After all, considering that, by all rights, we could demand only zero coverage…their policy of zero plus coverage of "Ron Paul" was extremely generous and more than fair.
Rationalization: That should restore our confidence in the system.
Tazmibro: Well, it ought to. But I'm a little bit disturbed that there will always be people who won't acknowledge the fact that "Ron Paul" is a mythical character.
Rationalization: What would you say to someone like that?
Tazmibro: I don't really know. I suppose "get a grip" would be a little harsh. After all, that's why we created "Ron Paul" to begin with…to give people a sense of hope. And there is a kind of earnest, trusting person for whom it really doesn't matter if "Ron Paul" exists or not. I'm comfortable with that. On the other hand, there is kind of person who has an inquiring mind and always wants to get to the bottom of things. For this kind of person, believing in "Ron Paul" would constitute what, I think it was Ayn Rand, called "epistemological treason." Such a person would never rest until they had determined whether "Ron Paul" was real or not.
Rationalization: Then it would be fair game to ask what you would tell that kind of person specifically.
Tazmibro: Certainly. I would tell them that a "Ron Paul" is an impossibility in this or any other time or place. You don't need to go hunting down his resume or his acquaintances, all you need is a little deduction. Politicians are motivated by the accumulation of power…but in our story line about "Ron Paul" we have a man who has stood many times for public office and has tried to divest the political system of power. That was the glaring flaw in our hoax…yet nobody called us on it!
Rationalization: A psychological impossibility!
Tazmibro: Call it what you will…I rest my case! One way or the other, you can't violate the laws of human motivation and have a believable character…yet we did it all over the place with "Ron Paul" and nobody caught us!
Rationalization: I guess today, for once, the skeptics lose!
April 2, 2008
