From
My Cold, Dead Hands
by
Karen De Coster
by Karen De Coster
Recently by Karen De Coster: Little
Miss PC Southern Belle
Americans have
become a society obsessed with this idiotic notion of "safety."
The safety hysteria became obsessive, and citizen tyrants transformed
into anti-this, anti-that lobbyists, and soon our legislators figured
it was their place to assist these obnoxious people, and their so-called
safety organizations, by banning every activity or product that
ever injured or killed someone who carelessly abused it. Hence,
the Safety Busybody state was born.
Traveling back
in time, I remember all of the hysteria, started by one man, which
led to the evil lawn dart ban. Playing
Jarts was a favorite pastime in my family and neighborhood.
Then, in 1987, a 7-year-old girl was killed by some careless boys
(with one of them being the girl’s brother) who were slinging them
around recklessly. The father's reaction to this was to commence
an effort to ban lawn darts, which was, of course, an act dedicated
to his daughter who died. So David Snow, on the basis of his child's
unfortunate incident, raged through Washington D.C., produced scores
of exaggerated statistics citing the danger of lawn darts, or Jarts,
and lobbied against the "killer" game. Here's
a video on that story.
I remember
shortly thereafter lawn darts were banned. Here's
the official government publication announcing the ban, effective
December 19, 1988. Here's
a 1988 Consumer Product Safety Commission report on the recall
of lawn darts, from Franklin Sports Industries, "because the
blunt metal tips may pose a risk of injury." Consumers were
offered a whopping $5 to send the contraband back to Franklin Sports.
Mr. Snow then took his case to Canada, getting lawn darts banned
there, too, even thought the Canadian government could not produce
statistics even exaggerated ones showing that they
were a recurrent problem. It’s unfortunate that Mr. Snow’s daughter
was killed, and apparently his own 9-year-old son, Paul, along with
other children, was
involved in the careless game that went awry. How did Mr. Snow
allow his young children to get access to a very adult game, and
without supervision? Weren’t the pointed, metal tips a hint that
the game could be dangerous in the hands of testosterone-charged
boys? As the President of R.B. Jarts, Robert Barnett, told
the Chicago Tribune, "It's a game for adults, a family
game if they want their older children to use under supervision."
In 1970, the
government had already prohibited the sale of lawn darts in toy
stores or in toy sections of retailers as a compromise with the
Food & Drug Administration (the FDA you read that right),
which wanted an outright ban. If I remember correctly, shortly thereafter
the metal-tipped lawn darts became highly un-pc, and therefore manufacturers
started selling plastic-tipped lawn darts. Those things did not
stick in the grass unless ground conditions were perfect, rendering
them useless. In 1997, another child was killed by a lawn dart.
The CPSC immediately released
this hysterical bulletin. Here’s a snippet:
CPSC banned
lawn darts in 1988, but some of these dangerous products may still
be in garages, basements, or second-hand stores," said CPSC Chairman
Ann Brown. "Parents should destroy these banned lawn darts immediately.
I remember
my mother's reaction was to find some used sets with steel tips
and buy them before they became scarce.
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At the
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At the time
this was going on, in the 80s, most conservatives painted these
senseless, knee-jerk, safety overkill bans as ridiculously stupid
and busybody-like. This was in the days when conservatives still
resisted, to some small degree, moronic American hysteria. However,
columnist George
Will chimed in, in a column titled "A Hazard of No Toy-Size
Proportion," and supported the ban on the basis that government
regulations had not prevented injury and death. This is in spite
of the fact that there were only three deaths in the U.S. during
many years of many folks playing lawn darts prior to the ban. George
Will, in fact, followed the
government’s logic in determining that lawn darts should be
banned because they were recreational, they were not "needed," and
"substitute recreational enjoyment can be obtained from other products."
Reading George Will's rationale for why bicycles shouldn't be banned
which caused 800 deaths annually paints a silly circle
that gets no logic points.
Lawn darts
have since morphed into this silly impersonation of a lawn dart.
The
modern version has a "wobble" non-point, designed to satisfy
even the most dedicated Safety Nazi. However, don’t look for the
old-style lawn darts on eBay because
they "strongly support the efforts of the U.S. Consumer
Products Safety Commission (CPSC) to protect consumers" and
they do not "permit the listing of items that have been identified
by the CPSC as hazardous to consumers and therefore subject to a
recall." The eBay website specifically mentions lawn darts!
I, however,
have a few very illegal sets of these puppies, steel tips and all.
One set is an original set my Mom bought when I was a kid, and the
others were purchased on the sly at flea markets from evil sellers
flying under the radar. I still love the game. There are very large-print
warnings on the front of the boxes that state "Not a Toy for
Children." But then again, most adults with even minimal common
sense could figure that out without the dummy warning.
I’ll give you
my metal-tipped lawn darts when you pry them from my cold, dead
hands.
August
22, 2009
Karen DeCoster
[send her mail]
is a libertarian accounting/finance professional and writer. She
rides a Harley, shoots lots of guns, and buys Boston Legal DVDs.
She likes to put in long miles on her hybrid bicycle, lift heavy
weights, use the crock-pot, overindulge on Gouda cheese, do
primal workouts, play Frisbee, get lost in the woods,
and hang out at Bass Pro Shops. She won’t trade in her clunker for
cash and it is highly unlikely that she will become a Czar in the
Obama administration. She openly advocates resistance to the current
regime in power. This is her LewRockwell.com
archive and her Mises.org
archive. Check out her website.
Copyright ©
2009 Karen DeCoster
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