To Wear to the Sedition Trial?
been wondering what to wear to my sedition trial. You may think
this rather premature, or immature, even, but Iíve been wondering
all the same. Iíve been making some pretty mouthy political statements
regarding Washington in general and Mr. Clinton in particular. We
know for a fact that Mr. Clinton can be quite vindictive, that is
when he is not schmoozing up to Indonesia in order to ensure his
own fortune and glory. So letís just say this has been on my mind.
I am a female and what to wear to important events is a matter of
some concern. I mean, if I have to go, what do I wear?
know, the State has this depressing habit of shoving its political
prisoners into those horrid orange jumpsuits, but Iím a redhead
and that just isnít going to work. And the chains. They are not
very attractive. But they are almost certainly symbolic rather than
functional. Remember the pictures of Ted the K? He was surrounded
by guards with guns and yet he was covered with the chains. I rather
doubt there was much chance that he could plant a letter bomb in
the courtroom, so the chains probably werenít all that necessary.
So, Ok, Iíll take the chains. Lots of them please. Theyíll ruin
the outfit, but at least they will create the impression for the
conscious viewer that Iím dangerous to the health of the State.
For my chains, I would like to request, in advance, that my leg
irons be attached to one of those big heavy balls we used to see
prisoners in movies wearing. Just for fun. Helluva fashion statement,
and one Iím sure my mom would appreciate. (Hi mom.)
letís say I can choose what to wear, besides that orange jumpsuit.
If I have to wear that, I ainít going. Iíve been thinking about
this floor-length gray dressóa very nice elegant number. It would
make me look quite sedate, maybe even historical, kind of like a
modern Patrick Henryís sister when sheís not being mouthy. It goes
nicely with my hair and eyes and it makes a serious, intelligent
statement. It would be nice to go down in history as being serious
and intelligent, although I rather doubt that Iíll succeed. However,
since I wonít have to read any of the blather that will get written,
I wonít mind all that much.
the other hand, I have this great pair of red silk pants and a nifty
little black velour jacket trimmed with white rabbit fur and I know
for a fact Iím cute as a button in this outfit. It is much more
... well, bratty, but it is cute. And it is an entirely different
sort of statement to make at oneís sedition trail. I guess this
is Patrick Henryís sister when being mouthy, and so I would
have to make a Speech of Import from the dock. The Irish are good
at those, having had centuries of practice, so I should be fine.
Iíll start practicing one soon. And the chains will look OK with
this outfit, not great, but OK.
know. Youíre thinking that Iím just a lightweight. That I should
be thinking serious thoughts about, oh, I donít know. The Constitution,
maybe. Or reforming the system. Or whether I should invest in the
Chinese SKS or another load of dehydrated veggies. What can I say?
I am thinking about those things. But I guess I need some
advice on this question as well. I ask readers to send me their
votes, for the gray dress, or the red silk/black jacket getup.
Patricia Neill is managing editor of a scholarly journal on the
life and work of William Blake, the 18th-century artist