Entries for a Devil’s Dictionary of the Bush Era
by
Tom Engelhardt
by Tom Engelhardt
For
the last few years we have been ruled by lexicographers. Never has
an administration spent so much time creating, defining, or redefining
terms, perhaps because no one (since George Orwell) has grasped
the power and possibility that lay hidden in plain sight in the
naming and renaming of words. In a sense, our post-9/11 moment began
with two definitions: The Bush administration named our global enemy
"terrorism" and called the acts that followed a "war," which was
soon given the moniker "the global war on terror" (later reduced
to the acronym GWOT, also known as World War IV), which was then
given an instant future being defined as a "generational struggle"
that was still to come. All this, along with "war" itself, was simply
announced rather than officially "declared."
Given that we were (by administration definition) at war, it should
have been self-evident that those we captured in our "war" on terrorism
would then be "prisoners of war," but no such luck for them, since
their rights would in that case have been clearly defined in international
treaties signed by the United States. So the Bush administration
opened its Devil's Dictionary and came up with a new, tortured term
for our new prisoners, "unlawful combatants," which really stood
for: We can do anything we want to you in a place of our choosing.
For that place, they then chose Guantánamo, an American base in
Cuba (which they promptly defined as within "Cuban sovereignty"
for the purposes of putting our detention camps beyond the purview
of American courts or Congress, but within Bush administration sovereignty
the sole kind that counted with them for the purposes of the
Cubans).
In this way, we moved from a self-declared generational war against
a method of making war to a world of torture beyond the reach of,
or even sight of, the law in a place that (until the Supreme Court
recently ruled otherwise) more or less didn't exist. All this was
then supported by a world of pretzeled language constantly being
reshaped in the White House Counsel's office, the Justice Department,
and the Pentagon so that reality would have no choice but to comply
with the names given it.
The way gunmen once reached for their six-guns, so the various legal
and other counselors of this administration reach for their dictionaries.
The lawyer-authors of the various tortured memos about torture that
came out of the White House Counsel's office and the Justice Department,
for instance, expended
much effort as if they were part of a panel for a new edition
of some dictionary. Here are just a couple of examples along their
tortuous path to redefining responsibility for the inflicting of
pain:
"The
word 'profound' has a number of meanings, all of which convey
a significant depth. Webster's New International Dictionary
1977 [2nd ed. 1935 defines profound as...]"
"The
word ‘other' modifies ‘procedures calculated to disrupt profoundly
the senses.' As an adjective, ‘other' indicates that the term
or phrase it modifies is the remainder of several things. See
Webster's Third New International Dictionary 1598 (1986)
(defining ‘other' as ‘the one that remains of two or more') Webster's
Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary 835 (1985) (defining ‘other'
as ‘being the one (as of two or more) remaining or not included')."
It seems they sat surrounded by the Webster's
New International Dictionary (sometimes the 1935 edition, sometimes
later ones), the American Heritage Dictionary, and the Oxford
English Dictionary, medical dictionaries, and who knows what
else, as they decided just how much pain wasn't actually pain for
the benefit of the Pentagon, the CIA, and the President.
While they consulted piles of dictionaries and other reference materials
to draw the pain out of a global torture regime, their true definitional
focus was on removing all fetters, all checks and balances, from
George W. Bush's power as president. Since we were "at war," they
did so, in large part, by highlighting the role of our "war President"
as commander-in-chief; and then redefining what his "wartime" powers
would be. Their definitional goal: To place presidential power (in
the form of the powers of the commander-in-chief to prosecute war)
in a kind of constitutional Guantánamo; that is, beyond the "sovereignty"
of any other powers in the American political system, thus removing
from Bush and his subordinates any responsibility for acts he may
have ordered committed. In the process, they redefined torture so
narrowly that it became the definitional property of the torturer.
This unfortunately is but part of our unfinished journey through
the language of the Bush era. Every day brings new and strange "wonders,"
the equivalent of the news of bizarre creatures and weird races
the Cynocephali (dog-headed men), the Anthropophagi
(whose heads were said to grow beneath their shoulders), the Blemmyae
(with faces on their breasts), and the Sciopods (swift one-legged
creatures) brought back to Europe by Medieval travelers. To take
but a single example, the
newest National Security document (pdf file) out of the Pentagon
redefines the category of Weapons of Mass Destruction or WMD (which
itself blunted the world-destroying impact of nuclear weapons by
sweeping them into a larger category of potential weaponry) with
a new acronym WMD/E:
"The
term WMD/E relates to a broad range of adversary capabilities
that pose potentially devastating impacts. WMD/E includes chemical,
biological, radiological, nuclear, and enhanced high explosive
weapons as well as other, more asymmetrical 'weapons'. They may
rely more on disruptive impact than destructive kinetic effects.
For example, cyber attacks on US commercial information systems
or attacks against transportation networks may have a greater
economic or psychological effect than a relatively small release
of a lethal agent."
Soon, in addition to going to war with "terrorism" (al Qaeda) and
"rogue nations" (Iraq), it seems that we will be able to go to "war"
with cyber-hackers, a generational battle which will undoubtedly
be known as the Global War on Computer Hackers (GWOCH)
Recently, Katrina vanden Heuvel, editor of the Nation magazine,
has been focusing on Bush-administration-speak in the on-line columns
she writes at her Editor's Cut weblog. She's been attempting to
demystify what she calls "a veritable Orwellian Code of encrypted
language." Her definitions are amusing, biting, and on target. ("Neoconservatives,
n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.") At some point, she opened
her column up to
Nation readers and now plans to put together a Republican
Dictionary out of the various definitions that are coming in.
I thought that Tomdispatch might lend a hand and so asked a number
of Tomdispatch writers if they would contribute their own Bush-era
definitions. You'll see the results below along with a few
definitions of my own directly from the "pens" of Rebecca
Solnit, Chalmers and Sheila Johnson, Arlie and Adam Hochschild,
and Nick Turse among others (including one definition sent in by
Bill Moyers; admittedly, not as yet a Tomdispatch writer but nonetheless
brought in to bat clean-up). Should Tomdispatch readers care to
enter the fray and submit definitions for possible use in the Nation's
future book, Katrina vanden Heuvel suggests that you send them to
webeditor@thenation.com
or click here
and fill out the form. (In either case, put "GOP dictionary" in
the subject line.)
A small Tomdispatch treat: Joshua Brown, who does the on-line cartoon
series Life During Wartime, has prepared a set of visual
definitions especially for this dispatch to go with the verbal ones
below. (Unfortunately, my site can't post images, so you'll have
to click to his.)
When asked if he would like to submit a Bush-era definition or two,
Noam Chomsky replied, "I suspect that I'll have to fall back on
Mark Twain's despair when trying to satirize General Funston: 'No
satire of Funston could reach perfection, because Funston occupies
that summit himself....[he is] satire incarnated.'" (General Frederick
N. Funston was a commander of part of the American expeditionary
force that crushed the Philippine independence movement as the twentieth
century began.)
Herewith, then, entries (or are they entrees?) for a modern Devil's
Dictionary (with a small bow to Ambrose
Bierce). ~ Tom
JOSHUA
BROWN
Click
here for the definitions in Joshua Brown's "My First Book of
Government."
TOM
ENGELHARDT
Homeland
n: A term successfully used by the Germans and the Soviets
in World War II, less successfully (and in the plural) by Apartheid-era
South Africa. It means neither home, nor land, has replaced both
country and nation in American public speech, and is seldom wielded
without the companion word "security." It is the place to which
imperial forces return for R&R.
Homeland
Security: synonymous with Homeland insecurity.
Homeland
Security Department: The new Defense Department, known for declaring
bridges yellow and the Statue of Liberty orange.
Homelandism
n: a neologism for love of the Homeland Security State as
in, "My Homeland, 'tis of thee, sweet security state of liberty…"
Intelligence
n: What Dick Cheney wants and the CIA must provide or
else. (See, Iraq, weapons of mass destruction)
Nationalism
n: How foreigners love their country (when they do). A very
dangerous phenomenon that can lead to extremes of passion, blindness,
and xenophobia. (See, Terrorism)
Oil
n: 1. Black gold. 2. (defunct acronym) Operation
Iraqi Liberation or OIL (name changed to Operation Iraqi Freedom,
OIF, without explanation). 3. What the Bush administration wasn't
after in Iraq and isn't after in Iran. (See, Democracy)
Patriotism
n: How Americans love their country. A trait so positive
you can't have too much of it, and if you do, then you are a super-patriot
which couldn't be better. (Foreigners cannot be patriotic. See,
Nationalism)
Pentagon
n: Formerly, the Defense Department, but since we now have
a new defense department (see, Homeland Security Department), soon
be renamed the Global Forward Deployment Department or GFDD (Ge-Fudd).
Its forward-deployed headquarters will be established in a two-sided
building, the Duogon, now being constructed in Bahrain out of sand
imported from the beaches of Texas by Halliburton subsidiary KBR.
From there, it plans to rule the known world.
ARLIE
HOCHSCHILD
Environmental
Protection Agency: Economic Predators Inc.
Homeland
Security Advisory System: Color-coded program for emotional
destabilization.
Leave
No Child Behind: Social class divide maintenance system
ADAM
HOCHSCHILD
Senate
n: Exclusive club, entry fee $10 to $30 million.
House
of Representatives: Exclusive club, entry fee $1 to $5 million.
Washington
Press Corps: Extension of White House and Pentagon press offices.
CHALMERS
AND SHEILA JOHNSON
Stuff
Happens: Donald Rumsfeld as master historian.
March
of Freedom Around the World: John Negroponte's career.
Shock
and Awe: A classic combination like "surf and turf"; special
effects produced at missile point by the U.S. military. (See, State
Terrorism).
BILL
MOYERS
"Burning
Bush": A biblical allusion to the response of the President
of the United States when asked a question by a journalist who has
not been paid to inquire.
JONATHAN
SCHELL
Republican
Party: A party that assails the foundations of the Republic,
attacking the balance and separation of powers (See, Assertions
of Untrammeled Presidential Authority to violate domestic
and international laws forbidding torture); habeas corpus (See,
Assertion of Right to Lock Away "Enemy Combatants" Forever
without due process of law); and federalism (See, Legislative and
Executive Rampage to overturn state court decisions in the
Terry Schiavo case).
ORVILLE
SCHELL
Strategic
Competitor (China branch): Containing China militarily while
using it as an industrial park for outsourcing low-paying and often
polluting industries.
MICHAEL
SCHWARTZ
Democracy
n: A country where the newspapers are pro-American.
Public
Opinion Polls: Progress reports for spin doctors.
STEPHEN
SHALOM:
Checks
and Balances. The system whereby the campaign checks of the
few balance the interests of the many.
Free
Speech Zone: The area to which those who differ from the administration
are confined should they be so audacious as to wish to exercise
their right of free speech.
Free
Press: 1. Government propaganda materials covertly funded with
a quarter of a billion dollars of taxpayer money but given out for
free to the press and then broadcast without any acknowledgment
of the government's role in their preparation. 2. Newspapers that
obscure the truth on behalf of corporate and government interests
for free.
Town-hall
Meeting: A meeting in a hall in a town where all the participants
have first been vetted for loyalty to the Bush administration.
Mandate:
1. The opinion expressed by about a quarter of the eligible voters.
2. The opinion reflected in an electoral-vote margin smaller than
in any 20th century election other than 1916 and 2000. 3. The opinion
expressed by the smallest popular vote margin obtained by a sitting
president since 1916.
REBECCA
SOLNIT
China:
See Wal-Mart.
Death
n: An increasingly rare phenomenon, no longer occurring among
soldiers of the U.S. army or civilians in affected countries. However,
the media reports that death is still caused by lone gunmen and
over-consumption of saturated fats as well as natural disasters.
Democracy
n: 1. A product so extensively exported that the domestic
supply is depleted. 2. When they vote for us. (See, tyranny: When
they vote for someone else.)
Liberal
adj: Widely used after the words progressive, radical, left,
revolutionary, and insurrectionary were banned from the mainstream
media, having the double benefit of making moderates seem vaguely
dangerous and making revolutionaries seem vaguely embarrassing and
ineffectual. Liberal media: Ted Koppel and anarchist zines.
Negroponte,
John: Good diplomat, in the sense that Pol Pot is a good family-planner.
Ownership
Society: You no longer own your national parks, your public
transit, your commons, your government, your Bill of Rights, or
your future, but you may purchase a Burger King franchise or some
stocks with your Wal-Mart earnings.
Peace
n: What war is for.
Security
n: Something to be applied to the homeland but not to the
social.
Social
Security: A good idea except for two problems: Social verges
on socialism and guarantees of security violate a free market.
The
Marketplace of Ideas: Buy low, sell high.
Wal-Mart:
The nation-state, future tense.
NICK
TURSE
Abuse
n: Modern word for what was once referred to as torture.
An interim term, soon to be replaced by "tough love" (which, in
turn, is expected to be replaced by "freedom's caress").
Mullah
n: 1. (archaic) Religious teacher or leader, a title of respect
in Islamic countries, pronounced "mull-a." 2. (informal) In the
modern presidential vernacular, a title of disrespect (pronounced
"moo-lah") in reference to Muslims deemed too fanatical to be bought-off
by American "moo-lah."
Rummy
slang: 1. (archaic) A person so drunk he can't recall a thing.
2. (modern) A SECDEF so drunk on power that he refuses to remember
anything.
Support
the Troops: A mandatory mantra which need no longer be mouthed
since full "support" can be offered with a simple $1 investment
in a magnetic
yellow ribbon to affix to the back of your SUV.
CHIP
WARD
Healthy
Forests: Forests made safe from the ravages of nature, i.e.
bugs and fires, by removal to pulp mills and lumber yards.
Wilderness
n: 1. Publicly owned former habitat for wildlife, often endangered,
where private corporations go wild drilling for oil and gas, grazing
cattle, logging, and building roads. 2. Off-road vehicle theme parks
characterized by abundant stumps, oil slicks, tire tracks, flattened
owls, and coughing caribou.
March
29, 2005
Tom
Engelhardt [send him mail]
is editor of TomDispatch.com,
a project of the Nation
Institute. He
is the author of several books, including The
Last Days of Publishing: A Novel and The
End of Victory Culture.
Copyright
© 2005 Tom Engelhardt
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