A
Back to School Warning:
Anti-Trust Law After Microsoft
by
David Dieteman
The
federal government's case against Microsoft appears ready to go
forward again. This time, rather than Judge Jackson, who was chastised
for likening Bill Gates (CEO of Microsoft) to Napoleon, the
case will be heard before Judge Trendy-Hyphen, whose husband's
firm has done legal work for Corel (a competitor of Microsoft).
At
the same time, the
European Union is attempting to justify its existence by bringing
its own copy-cat anti-trust suit against Microsoft. The EU,
it seems, is like a younger sibling, seeking to ape Big Brother
Sam to show that it's a player. Please, devolve yourself into your
member states.
In
all of this, the real news concerns the next cases on the horizon,
the egregious cases of "bundling" products to harm competitors.
Worse, many of these products are targeted to school children.
For
example, Goober
Grape. Rather than allow consumers to buy grape jelly and peanut
butter separately, this evil product "bundles" them together, just
like Windows Media Player and Internet Explorer might come with
Windows operating software. "The best of Smucker's, all in one jar?"
I don't think so. Just imagine TV ads with this slogan: "The Best
of Microsoft, all in One Computer." Not allowed in computers, not
allowed in PB&J. Goober Grape is so bundled, it cannot clearly
be classified as either peanut butter or jelly, much like the glass
which may be half full or half empty. Break up the company. They
already have Goober Strawberry, so there is no telling how far this
might go before the government saves us.
Next,
the "cheese and crackers" gang, better known as Lance
Snacks. Perhaps you have enjoyed, as I have, the flourescent
orange crackers with peanut butter, or the "Captain's Wafers" with
cheese. Now that you are drooling all over yourself, consider whether
it is fair for one company to sell you the crackers and the
cheese together, or, you might say, "bundled," like Microsoft
programs. How many family dairy farmers have been sent into bankruptcy
by the bundling of cheese and crackers. Buy your own cheese! At
least this company is named appropriately: its products are a Lance
aimed at the empty stomachs of our children.
Finally,
the "fruit on the bottom" yogurt brands. All of them, not just that
French company, Dannon,
which makes it harder for American yogurt producers to compete by
giving consumers a choice. Again, you can buy a media player and
you can buy a browser, but it is evil and wrong for them to come
together. No one cares about your convenience! And so you can buy
your fruit from the local fruit stand, and buy your plain yogurt
for mixing. Don't let the smiles fool you: these yogurt types will
not rest until all fruit comes through them. After they consolidate
their monopoly on the fruit in the yogurt market, they will raise
the price of fruit and yogurt so that you will have to sell your
minivan just to buy yogurt.
In
closing, a word to the wise: this is satire, although aimed at a
particular point. Goober Grape, Lance sandwich crackers, and Dannon
yogurt, just like Microsoft products, are great products, made in
response to consumer demand. These companies give people what they
want. This is in contrast to the government's way of doing things:
the government tells you what you are can have, how much of it you
can have, and when you can have it. The point: the anti-trust laws
are tools of politicians, and should be repealed. Charge more than
your competitors? Price gouging. Charge the same? Collusion. Charge
less? Predatory pricing. It is actually illegal to charge: more,
the same, or less. "Bundle" your products? Unfair. Who gets sued
for what depends on which way the political winds are blowing. Time
to repeal anti-trust.
Selected
Bibliography
 Dominic
Armentano. Antitrust:
The Case for Repeal and Antitrust
and Monopoly.
August
31,
2001
Mr.
Dieteman [send him mail]
is an attorney in Erie, Pennsylvania, and a PhD candidate in philosophy
at The Catholic University of America.
©
2001 David Dieteman
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