It sounds enticing: a “consortium” of corporate cronies would build and maintain kiosks around New York City offering “free” Wifi and phone calls to pedestrians. As it turned out, “LinkNYC’s” signal is so powerful that people living near the kiosks could cancel their ISP’s, as many discovered to their delight.

Everybody loves something for nothing, and New Yorkers in their horrifically expensive apartments, spending an average of almost $50 for dinner, may be more susceptible to such bribes than most. Few seem to care that Our Rulers spy directly, easily, and completely on LinkNYC’s users or that the kiosks emit alarming levels of radiation.

Naturally, New York’s fascist-in-chief, Bill “Mussolini” de Blasio, ballyhooed LinkNYC and the blow he’d thereby struck for Progressive “fairness”: “In 2016 internet access is not a luxury… [or] optional. It’s something everybody needs and if we’re going to have fairness, we have to make sure that there is equality of access to the internet.” Alas, neither he nor his cronies explained why the City should provide that “equal access” when Apple, Samsung, Microsoft, etc., have already done so: “Nearly all New York City residents own a cell phone, and rates of phone ownership were high among residents even when they had no income … Roughly 96 percent of New York City residents own cell phones, and 80 percent own smartphones,” as Mussolini should have known since his own Department of Consumer Affairs compiled these stats.

Besides, even morons and politicians could have predicted that however popular the kiosks are with residents exploiting “free” Wifi, pedestrians wouldn’t cotton to them. Who wants to stop and clack away on a public—read: germy—keyboard when you can instead pull out your smartphone and continue walking? No wonder I rarely see a LinkNYC in use.

But one type of New Yorker does enthusiastically patronize LinkNYC: the “homeless,” i.e., bums. A couple of weeks ago, I passed one LinkNYC with a very obese and thus memorable derelict installed before it; when I walked that way again 10 hours later, he was still there.

Felix Bronstein sent me the link confirming my all-too-predictable observation: “… the LinkNYC team said that ‘unexpected challenges’ had made it necessary to temporarily shut down the web function in the hubs’ onboard tablets. ‘Some users have been monopolizing the Link tablets and using them inappropriately, preventing others from being able to use them while frustrating [that’s PR-speak for ‘harassing and panhandling from’] the residents and businesses around them … The kiosks were never intended for anyone’s extended, personal use…’ The news comes just hours after a new report from Motherboard detailed the growing trend of poor or homeless New Yorkers camping out in front of the tablets to browse the web. The New York Post has also reported on efforts to view pornography on the tablets, although many of the offending sites have since been blocked.”

I wonder whether fascists carry umbrellas when they see rain out their windows before departing to rob the sheeple. Do you suppose they’re intelligent enough to realize they’ll get wet in those circumstances?

The Best of Becky Akers