The COVIDCon Plays Ball

Mr. Anonymous thinks he’s 

got this covid thing down pat now:

  1. There’s no danger if you’re on a football field playing the game, but there is a danger if you are a referee, or a coach, or someone else on the sidelines.  So you must wear a mask in those latter instances unless you need to talk through a microphone, or if you need to yell to a player or other coach, or if you need to scratch something on your face that the mask inhibits.
  2. You may play professional golf in front of fans in South Dakota, but nowhere else in the USA.  And without a mask.  In the other 49 states you may play professional golf without a mask also, but not in front of any fans.  And in those 49 states if you are an official on the same golf course you must wear a mask except when adjusting it, or when the camera isn’t focused on you.  And a golfer must immediately put on a mask after playing since the area directly adjacent to the golf course must be infested with the dreaded virus.

Alas, Americans boast centuries of practice in overlooking such damaging discrepancies: the same incoherence and contradictions characterize local laws on gambling, or school buses, or alcohol and cigarettes, or driver’s licenses, etc. Because each state’s bureaucrats rule their fiefdoms according to whim, whole bodies of conflicting, silly, and ultimately tyrannical regulations curse us. Which may partially explain why Americans, whose civic religion consists of kowtowing and obedience, haven’t resisted the COVIDCon.

  1. If you are in the NFL you will be playing a full season.  If you are an NCAA football player you might be playing or you might not.  That will depend on how many lawsuits are threatened against your conference.  So the Big-10 – which consists of 14 teams !! – will now be playing – after insisting they weren’t until they faced a lawsuit or two. And the Pac-12 will not be playing after politely asking Gruesome if they could please play.  We know the answer to that one.
  2. There is no danger in all of Sweden, so if you happen to travel there you do not have to wear a mask anywhere.
  3. I would continue but I think by now anyone with a lick of sense would completely understand what is going on, or should I say going down?

7:06 pm on September 16, 2020