Your reporter has gone undercover and discovered the Democratic Party “secret strategy” for winning the 2018 and 2020 elections. In the interest of the free press the Democrats are vociferously defending at present, I am going to reveal what the “secret strategy” is. I know, it might be unfair, but a free press is paramount over all other considerations. So here is the strategy:
1.) Blame the Russians
2.) Blame the Russians
3.) Blame the Russians
4.) When asked about any issue, blame the Russians
5.) Keep reminding everyone to blame the Russians
6.) Refuse to acknowledge anything that does not blame the Russians
It will sure be hard to beat this well thought out strategy. It can be seen how much this will benefit every American taxpayer. I don’t see how anyone can beat this platform. There has never before been such an innovative, forward-thinking, and refreshing set of brilliant ideas in the history of American politics. Every social and economic problem will vanish in an instant with these ideas.
4:27 pm on July 5, 2017