There is nothing new to report and the news should just use the following template daily to save time and no one will know the difference:
Breaking News! RussiaGate Evidence To Be Revealed Tomorrow!
Breaking News! Hillary Exploring 2020 Campaign Run!
Breaking News! Insurers Pulling Out Of Obamacare!
Breaking News! Vladimir Putin Does Not Find America THAT Interesting!
Breaking News! America Is Tired Of Breaking News And Needs A Break From Breaking News!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled breaking news.
2:43 pm on August 8, 2017
