NFL, DHS, TSA (Apologies To the Few Members of the Alphabet I Left Out)

Sure, I’m a sexist: I expect men to be men. And I expect men who tackle and fight other men on fields as drenched in testosterone as the NFL’s to exhibit that manliest of virtues, courage. But no: the NFL’s fraidy-cats bleated in 2011 that the police-state should grope “all fans … from the ankles up … to improve fan safety.” Right. Why don’t such Nervous Nellies admit that sexual assault of every attendee is far more dangerous than whatever peril they’re pretending to prevent? Instead, they treat folks who’ve shelled out megabucks for tickets as criminals rather than customers. Then they pull the same scam the TSA does, with that Satanic agency as their accomplice: they sell fans the right to enter stadia as they used to, free of manhandling, just as the TSA sells “PreCheck” to passengers fed up with its groping.

Moreover, according to an article TK forwarded me, the busybodies at the Department of Homeland Stupidity  inflict themselves on hapless fans in yet another way: “…federal agents who usually fight terrorists [sic for ‘who usually gate-rape innocent passengers’] are stalking [Minneapolis’] skyways and scrutinizing shopping tags to figure out if they can seize” the “fake Super Bowl merchandise … flooding into the Twin Cities this week…”

It’s a big problem, according to the National Football League.

Before last year’s Super Bowl in Houston, agents [sic for ‘thugs’] with the Department of Homeland Security [sic for ‘Insecurity’] — working [sic] with local law enforcement — confiscated more than 260,000 counterfeit items worth more than $20 million, court records show. A total of 56 people were arrested for selling illegal merchandise, including fake tickets to the big game.

And that wasn’t the biggest haul. That happened in 2016, when 450,000 illegal items worth $39 million were seized.

And what is Our Rulers’ response to the “big problem” troubling their cronies at the NFL? “On Monday, a Hennepin County judge granted the league and its agents permission to seize all suspected contraband without the notices typically required in court.” Ah! Do I smell the TSA’s rank stench as it coaches the NFL on ditching such niceties as search warrants and other constraints on badged bullies?

I despise sports nor ever attend a game, so it’s easy for me to ask why anyone in his right mind not only tolerates but actually pays –and pays a lot — for such abuse. But then I wonder the same thing about passengers on airlines. 

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4:01 pm on February 1, 2018