Eric Morris pays a monthly membership to exercise in a gym across the street from his home. But the “Monon Center” is no ordinary facility: Leviathan owns it. Eric tells me there are four or five private gyms in his town—or were: the “City owned Monon Center and low-cost fitness facilities had their effect over time” and killed one. So far.

That’s our first question: what business, so to speak, do politicians have, establishing enterprises at our expense that compete with some serfs’ livelihoods? And why doesn’t the media ever mourn the jobs government thereby destroys (84, in this case) when it hypes every last one government supposedly creates?

Which brings us to our second question: the Monon Center is double-dipping, gobbling taxes as well as membership fees. But since all taxpayers “contribute” to it, why may only those who fork over additional monies work out there?

And that leads to our third issue: the gym turned Eric away recently, despite ripping him off twice, because he dared show his bare face there. In effect, “they changed the terms of our agreement unilaterally in the middle of the month,” as Eric puts it. That prompted the following letter from him to the gym’s director:

Hi Michael,

I was just denied entry to the Monon Center.  The updated executive order still contains exceptions, including for health conditions, paragraph 3.f.iii, and for drinking water for that matter, 3.f.vi.  There is nothing in this new EO that changes regarding the exceptions, especially including providing some type of proof or documentation of medical exception.

The statement on the signs and your website states:  “Per IN Governor’s Executive Order No. 20-48”.   Please provide where in IN OE No. 20-48 it requires that I would need to provide proof of my medical exception, since your rule is per that order.

 Sincerely,

Eric Morris

The bureaucrat answered at length; consider how much time he has on his hands to address Eric’s objection this completely:

Dear Mr. Morris,

Thank you for your email and sharing your concerns regarding enforcement of the Governor’s face covering

I’m wondering why this jargon has usurped the four-letter, perfectly adequate “mask.” But I guess excess syllables appeal to bureaucrats as much as bubblegum does the vapid.

mandate at the Monon Community Center.

Executive Order 20-48 issued by Governor Holcomb mandates every individual age eight (8) or above within the State of Indiana to wear a face covering over the nose and mouth when inside a public building. While no directive from a political subdivision or other local government like Carmel Clay Parks & Recreation (CCPR) may impose less restrictive requirements than those set forward in the Executive Order, Section 12 explicitly permits CCPR to impose more restrictive requirements.

As you noted, there are several exemptions to the face covering mandate outlined in the Executive Order. Section 3(f)(vi) exempts use of a face covering while consuming food or drink. Current restrictions at the Monon Community Center continue to allow individuals to remove their face coverings for this purpose.

Section 3(f)(vii) exempts use of a face covering for “any person while exercising or engaging in sports activity and who can maintain six (6) feet of social distancing from other individuals not in the same household.” (emphasis added) The Monon Community Center is enforcing this requirement. Face coverings may be removed while using an exercise machine or at a workout station whenever the individual is able to maintain at least six (6) feet distance from other guests. When not working out, including while walking in common areas, face coverings are required.

Section 3(f)(iii) exempts the use of a face covering for “any person with a medical condition, mental health condition or disability which prevents wearing a face covering.” Section 3(f)(iv) also provides exemptions for individuals that have hearing impairments or individual communicating with a person with a hearing impairment where the ability to see the mouth is essential for communication. Since these circumstances qualify as disabilities and are covered under the federal Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), CCPR is following our standard process for considering and granting reasonable modifications for all individuals seeking an exemption from wearing a face covering for a medically related reason. This process ensure consistency in application of the face covering exemption.

Requests for modifications are reviewed by an Inclusion Supervisor, our designated ADA Coordinator,

Hard to tell if that’s one leech or two—but Indianapolis’ population is only 875,929, and I doubt even a Progressive would deem the gym a “core government function.” How many bureaucrats in total infest not only the Monon Center but Indianapolis as a whole?

and all medical information is kept confidential. Qualifying individuals granted a reasonable modification exempting them from wearing a face covering will be provided documentation to present upon entry to the Monon Community Center. The specific qualifying reason(s) for granting a medical exemption will not be identified on the documentation or shared with frontline staff.

Should you wish to request a modification exempting you from wearing a mask at the Monon Community Center during your entire visit due to a medical condition, please submit your request by clicking HERE. If provided documentation supports a modification request, it is always our goal to find a way to help guests

Don’t you hate it when Leviathan pretends its compulsory crap is the same as the private-market equivalent and uses the latter’s terminology? (The TSA especially insults in this regard, calling passengers its “customers.” As if any “customer” in his right mind would pay LaWanda to grope him.) When the revolution comes, I’m going after bureaucrats for this crime alone.

use and enjoy our facilities and services.

Thank you for your understanding as we seek to provide a safe environment for all Monon Community Center guests and employees during the current global pandemic.

 Sincerely,

 Michael W. Klitzing, CPRE

Director of Parks and Recreation/CEO

To this torrent of justification, Eric responded,

I understand you can be more draconian/idiotic/virtue signaling (walk two feet past the entrance and then be able to take it off) than [Gov.] Holcomb, but why suddenly require an ADA ruling to be able to be exempted when the same language was in the previous mask order, including the language allowing you to be stricter.  I am asking you what changed.  Or were employees failing to enforce it appropriately before?  If so, shouldn’t some managers be reprimanded or fired for this serious breach of public safety?

Love the sarcasm with which Eric begins and concludes! A “breach of public safety,” indeed!

Three hours later, Eric reported, “I just walked over there without a mask and worked out.  Go figure.  I counted on government efficiency, i.e. stupidity.”

Always a sure bet, even in these uncertain times!

The Best of Becky Akers