North Korea arrested another American, what, a tourist, I suppose.
Ok, what is it about this place that is so attractive to tourism when we’ve seen how many now get the all-expense paid tour of a forced labor camp? I mean, really?! Seriously?! Of all the places in the world…North Korea is the place to be?! “Hmmm…the Caribbean…nah! Spain? Nah! I know! Look at this nifty brochure from North Korea! It says they have a five-star hotel!” Yeah, well, you better ask about the maid service and towel exchange in the forced labor camp there, slick.
See, I’m old enough to remember how Bakersfield, California, once had this tourism motto that said “Sun Fun Stay Play”. And if you’ve ever been to Bakersfield, especially in the 1990s, you know how hilarious that was. Dust storms, sweltering heat, the stench of dumped and rotting fruit and vegetables wafting in from the fields, a huge meth-idemic. Right. Sun Fun Stay Play—anywhere else but there.
“Welcome to sunny North Korea, sir! I will be your concierge and I am available 24 hours a day. I never sleep—or else. Here’s your free breakfast bar pass…your keys…fresh towels. Oh, and here are the two secret police agents assigned to you. They’ll be joining you for meals and shopping trips. Make sure you don’t take the little bars of soap when you check out. It carries a pretty heavy penalty here. Don’t even ask what we do to people that try and steal towels. But it involves a flamethrower, an anti-aircraft gun, and a stadium of spectators…”
12:49 pm on May 8, 2017