Funny Republican fundraising letter

I received a fundraising letter from the local Republican running for US Senate this year. The letter is pretty creepy, but here are my 2 favorite parts:

“I am running for the US Senate to strengthen national security, to balance the federal budget, and to reduce the tax and regulatory burdens on families and small businesses.”

[Translation: “I plan to run up massive deficits every year in order to continue the failed foreign policy debacles of the last five years. Obviously, I’m joking about balancing the federal budget and reducing the tax burden. We have to say that, but, as you know from years of the GOP doing nothing on this, it’s all BS. So just send me money ASAP.”]

“My wife and I have five children including a daughter at the Air Force Academy, a daughter and son in ROTC training in college, and two young daughters still at home…”

[Translation: at least 3 of my 5 kids are destined for federal jobs at the taxpayer’s expense, but since they’ll be in the military, they’re more virtuous than mere ordinary people who just foot the massive military tax bill that enriches government contractors. And, of course, if you elect me to the US Senate, I’ll be living off taxpayer money too, so be sure and send me a check ASAP.]


9:14 pm on May 24, 2008