First, “eight-year department veteran John Worden” spent an estimated “40-60 percent of his work [sic] shift” “talking and texting” three women; he also “us[ed] police resources [i.e., the cruiser we serfs buy him] for nearly 100 sexual encounters” with one of the trio.

Paying Worden $63,000 per annum for stud-service seems a bit steep—but at least he wasn’t whaling on expectant mothers or shooting unarmed teens. Perhaps that explains the “Department’s” forcing him to resign.

Second, Worden kept himself so busy he didn’t even rob drivers that often. “An investigation also concluded that Worden underperformed his duties during the time frame of the misconduct. During 2015, Worden issued 25 traffic tickets and made 27 criminal arrests. He denied [his lieutenant’s] notion that his work performance was impacted by the amount of personal time spent during his shifts. Rather, it was more about him feeling ‘poorly about what he was doing that caused the numbers to be so low,’ the report states.”

I originally thought he “felt poorly” about ticketing folks, and I marveled that the guy actually owned a conscience strong enough for some of it to survive the police academy. Then I realized nope, he “felt poorly” about his amours keeping him from less consenual pursuits.

Nonetheless, I’d say we need more cops like Worden.

(Thanks to Mark Carroll for alerting me to this story.)

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