I see yet another clash has occurred involving our black-clad anarchist chums. Out in the idyllic burg of Sacramento, California this time. It appears they had a difference of opinion with white supremacist demonstrators and it all went downhill from there. I guess they couldn’t settle their differences with a tiddlywinks playoff. Now, there’s an easy way to avoid this violence. It’s called not getting involved in these demonstrations. Going to these things is like holding up a sign asking to be assaulted or arrested. Truthfully, there are much more wholesome events that can be performed, such as leaf-pressing and watching wasps make paper. In other words, politics is not healthy for children and other living things. Not to mention these events are more boring than the “government/civic affairs” section of the bookstore. All the shouting and shoving, really, who gives a BLEEP? Get a life.
But what interested me is that several people were stabbed. What?! A “mass stabbing event”? My gosh, who will defend us against assault cutlery?! I’m so frightened, I jostled my coffee! I mean, have you noticed just anyone can walk into one of these kitchen boutiques and purchase a knife with a 12″ long blade? Why, that’s nearly a hand-and-a-half sword! A weapon of war! No background check!And they say these knives are merely for legitimate use such as dicing vegetables and so on! Come, come! Can people not bite the carrots into pieces and spit them into the stock pot? I expect, no I demand, that the Democrats save us from the scourge of cold steel our streets are awash with! We need to create a “No-Cut List” so people cannot just assume they’re entitled to buy boning knives and other deadly weapons that can unleash such horrific slaughter on our streets! It’s called a “boning” knife, people! Think about it!
Won’t someone please think of public safety?! Every day we refuse to act, people are walking into stores across America and buying knives with blades longer than 1 inch! To what end are knives longer than this needed?! Sporting use? Kitchen use? Why can’t people just use food processers now?! That’s what they’re there for! Maybe we need a “knife buy-back” program where we can give people pro basketball tickets in exchange for their bowie knives and meat cleavers that they should not have. If it saves just one life…
The Democrats will save us. Just wait and see. We’ll have some “common sense knife laws” and, well, we’ll all have to get used to food being a little more challenging to eat. But if it saves just one life…
2:10 pm on June 27, 2016
