Since the United States has been having trouble getting into a new war, it has decided to reopen a previous location/franchise, that being North Korea. Since the Korean War ended in an unsatisfactory tie and no decent war movies have come out of Hollywood in regards to this war, the United States has decided that this is, indeed, the war to get into. Or, back into, such as the case may be.
This war will sure to win plenty of Academy Awards once the movies glorifying it come out. There are many promising young actors who can use the roles in those movies to catapult themselves into positions as great philanthropists and humanitarians. Please be sure to bring scripts immediately to the Pentagon so aircraft carriers can be assigned to supporting roles in the movies. Thank you for your cooperation in selling the American people another war.
3:06 pm on August 8, 2017
