According to USA Today: “Al-Qaeda militants in key western Iraqi cities launched a series of brazen attacks against police stations and fought battles with government forces Thursday…”
What’s this? How DARE these people. They simply have no respect. They don’t play fairly. We won the war in Iraq (Lew tells us not to use the word “we” in this context, but I just can’t help myself. I’m just so irate at these enemies of the Greatest Nation on Earth, the Most Peaceful, the one headed by a president who won the Nobel Prize for PEACE) fair and square. We bombed the crap out of them, murdered millions of innocents, engaged in vast bribery, throwing so much money down the throats of our clients in that country they practically choked. And former president Bush (who also deserves the Nobel Prize for PEACE but didn’t get it only because the Nobel committee is prejudiced against advocates of laissez faire capitalism such as he) declared victory in Iraq on that aircraft carrier in his “Mission Accomplished” speech on the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln (our Tom DiLorenzo’s favorite ship). And didn’t President Obama (“If you like our latest war, you can keep it”) pull “our” (sorry, Lew) troops out of that country?
In view of all these facts, it is totally unfair and unjust and obnoxious that Al-Qaeda would start a war in Iraq. Don’t they realize this is not cricket on their part? Why, this is a stab in the back, and those people are ungrateful. They are ingrates. They just don’t have that American sense of fair play. Why, we go into that country with the best of motives. We did so in good faith, as befits an exceptional nation such as ours. We are the bearers of American exceptionalism. All others must bow down before us. But these people just don’t appreciate us. We’ve gotta kill ’em all, just to show them. That’s the only way to teach them a lesson.
(Lew is such a fuss-budget. He’s gonna demand that I say I’m writing this tongue in cheek. So I might as well do it before he bullies me, yet again, into doing just that.)
7:14 pm on January 3, 2014
