Add Virginia to the Masked Morons

Virginia’s fuhrer will require all serfs to don masks inside buildings, effective Friday.

But if masks are the answer to what ails us, why the delay? Imagine how many dead bodies will pile up in the streets between now and then!

Yo, Adolph: your fellow despot in Ohio tried this and went down in flames (moaning as he did, “You’ve got to know what you can and can’t do.” Never forget that even the most tyrannical regime rules only with the consent of its subjects)

Fortunately for Virginia’s oppressed, Adolph’s order does contain this exception:

Nothing in this Order shall require the use of a face covering by any person for whom doing so would be contrary to his or her health or safety because of a medical condition. Any person who declines to wear a face covering because of a medical condition shall not be required to produce or carry medical documentation verifying the stated condition nor shall the person be required to identify the precise underlying medical condition.

As Mr. Anonymous, who alerted me to this mandate, wrote, “Remarkably, I’ve developed a health condition that precludes wearing a mask.” 

I’m no prophet, but even I can see that a pandemic of unspecified “medical conditions” will likely hit Virginia this weekend.


12:07 pm on May 27, 2020