Kids didn’t used to roast to death, forgotten in the back seat of cars, because it was hard to forget your kid when he was sitting right there beside you – or even sitting in your lap. That was outlawed – for saaaaaaaaafety.
And now kids are forgotten about in the back seat and left to roast to death.
Solution? Keep them strapped in back there even longer. Some states have mandated that “kids” ride in saaaaaaafety seats until they’re practically ready for Social Security – or at least, college.
A few people backed up over kids – chiefly because it is almost impossible to see what’s behind any car made since the early ‘90s, which is because cars made since then have been made with bulbous rear ends apparently modeled on Kim Kardashian in the interests of . . . . saaaaaaaaafety.
They can take being bumped into better than the non-Kardashian models of the pre-saaaaaaaafety era.
But now you’re more likely to bump into – or run over – something.
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Or someone.
Solution? Pass a law requiring that every new car be fitted with a closed circuit camera system – just like RVs have.
No thought is given to making cars less RV (or Kardashian) like.
People have lately been forgetting to turn off their car’s engine – because in many cars built since the mid-2000s, you don’t turn anything to turn off the engine. Instead you push a button to turn off the ignition.
Or thought you did.
Later, the engine comes back on – possibly turning you off (for good) if it happens when you’re asleep and the car is in your garage. Physical keys were a failsafe. You had to turn the key in order to remove it from the ignition. Since most people tend to take their keys with them when they they leave the car, they turned off the engine before they left the car as a matter of course, without any special double-checking needed.
Mandating a return to keys rather than buttons would seem sensible (if we’re going into the mandating business, it ought at least to be sensible). Instead, it looks like a new mandate is coming for buzzers – or warnings piped to the owner’s cell phone.
