Behind that slap and that sad man cursing at the Alopecia Awards was a story. It is one of psychological manipulation, marital pain, cuckoldry, and being Hollywood, of course, boatloads of narcissism. Oh, and a non-life-threatening hair condition. This is what I learned, losing many brain cells in the process so you don’t have to.
Alopecia is apparently no joke.
You’d think by reading recent reports of award ceremony bitch slapping that alopecia can be just as dangerous as snow shoveling and just as deadly as cancer.
At the annual American Alopecia Awards Sunday night things got a bit heated when the night’s guest of honor Jada “GI Jane 2” Pinkett didn’t take kindly to a joke by Chris Rock who was there to present the award for Best Alopecia Documentary Short.
What do husbands do when their formerly separated back-together-again cheating wife is joyless, humorless, psychologically abusive, and subsumed by a self-seriousness only possible in narcissistic celebrities completely disconnected from reality?
In the words of the great Black American philosopher-rapper PhiloDawg the answer is clear: “Smack dat nigga.”
If you were to get this entire story from woke Twitter it would read something like this:
Alopecia suffering 100x millionaires are some of our most vulnerable in society. Answering their call to correct the injustices of the universe with violence is always warranted, especially against hate speech, on live TV at the Oscars.
Allow me to fill some holes in this story, pun intended.
Cuckolded husbands are no longer a rare breed of a husband across the American Maritial landscape. The happiness of one’s partner has become paramount to the success of western marriages and nothing is apparently off-limits in this quest. This itself is already a problem. The happiness of a couple who fly on private jets and have a net worth of hundreds of millions of dollars is another consideration entirely.
As the great comic Kevin Nealon asked, “What does one do for amusement when they’ve traveled everywhere and done everything that money can buy?”
His answer was to try autoerotic asphyxiation or rather mock those who turned to the practice out of boredom. His question was an answer to a cultural problem that confused him at the time. Rich and famous people were dying buck naked with belts and ties around their necks, an odd thing in a time of peace, with no national revolutions. There are only so many ways to ‘get off’ in Hollywood, but in this case only if one can ‘get down’ in time.
For teen girls, boredom and unhappiness can result in cutting themselves to feel something, as Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s daughter Willow started doing when her teenybop hit song only sold 1.5 million copies.
Boredom has become endemic. More recently gender and sexual experimentation have become sources of post-modern amusement for the young and confused, the clueless and bored. Advertising pronouns with associated gender identity and sexual orientation flags are now a way to signal to one’s tribe that they are ‘hip to the causes du jour’ and not suffering from mental illness or longing to feel a part of something through conformity and submission. The point here being it’s not just the parents going in destructive circles, it’s a family affair.
Apparently, the destruction of every member of the family unit has been a goal of official policymakers for decades, though it’s still considered a “conspiracy theory”. Black lives matter and other organizations have openly stated this is one of their goals.
Welfare policies rooted in 1960s Great Society handouts planted the first seeds of domestic destruction and Hollywood (and Disney now openly) have been doing their best to accelerate the process on the cultural front ever since.
Is this what Brandon’s “New World Order” portends?
