Schumer’s Electric Escort Service

If you have to pay a girl to go out with you, there’s probably something wrong with you. Especially if you let yourself believe she is going out with you because she likes you.

The same applies to electric cars – which most people, if they’re honest with themselves, only “date” because they’re handed wads of bills as compensation for the EV’s many functional deficits – as well as its much higher expenses.

The compensation is tendered in the form of  tax kickbacks (paid for by other taxpayers) and various special privileges, such as “free” (and tax-free) electricity  . . . also paid for by others.

That this is absolutely essential – in terms of perpetrating the fiction of EV viability – tells us all we need to know about the viability of EVs.

They aren’t.

We know this because when the bribes are withheld, the EVs stop selling  . . . for the same reason the escort isn’t going to show up at your hotel room just because you ask her to. Gift Card i... Best Price: null Buy New $50.00 (as of 01:10 EST - Details)

Something else is required.

If EVs could be sold on the merits, the bribes wouldn’t be essential. And yet, they are.

QED, as the saying goes.

We’re not supposed to notice this. We are supposed to pretend the attraction is real rather than bribed. That there is a “market” for cars that cost 30-50 percent more than their non-electric equivalents, but which only go half as far (maybe, if you take it easy and don’t use the AC or heat too much) and take 5-6 times as long (minimally, if you can umbilical up to a “fast” charger) to get going again.

And which only last half as long – due to the lifespan of their batteries, which is about half that of an engine or transmission.

The “market” for EVs is like the “market” for air travel via DC-3s (15 hours in an unpressurized cabin from NY to LA, with multiple stops for fuel) vs. five hours no-stop via 757.

We live in delusional times.

Or rather, we are expected to be delusional in our thinking –  like the liver-spotted old guy with tufts of hair spouting from his ears who lets himself believe the pretty young woman in his hotel room is there because she likes him . . . not because of the wad of $100 bills he just handed her.

Speaking of delusional (and dangerous) hairy-eared old guys . . . and billions…  .

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