I will come right out and say that I am a bit of a humbug when it comes to holidays. It pretty much just reminds me of what a messed up and broken wreck my side of the family is. To be honest, I mostly use the few days of the holidays where everyone celebrates as an excuse to read a book or do something I want to do and be left alone.
Despite my Christmas and holiday grouchiness, I have observed that others just get a bit stressed especially now with how divided everyone seems. I have made an effort to be a bit more on board about the holidays, but it is a challenge. Here are my tips for getting through the holidays without being too overwhelmed.
Avoid talking about politics on any level. This is rule #1 after not drinking and driving.
Oh my, if you want to ruin Christmas just bring up any political news or events. Worse still is there are plenty that simply will not take no for an answer when it comes to talking about politics. My solution for this is to change the subject. In fact, my rule is to try to change it twice. After that second attempt fails, then I walk away. If someone pursues me after I walk away and is super determined to engage me in the political talk there is a good chance I will leave altogether. I think that holiday celebrations should not lead to political confrontations and if they do, then exiting and going home to do something I will actually enjoy is completely acceptable. Life is too short to spend with people that cannot deal with differences or talk about something else for a change.
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Don’t overspend
Worrying about how much you spent will make you miserable. Spend what you can or make some gifts and if people act snotty then maybe they are not who is deserving of your attention and time during the holidays. Chances are no one is going to truly think better of you if they don’t like you just because you give them something fancy. Spending more does not buy true warm feelings or acceptance.
Consider if a gift is really a good choice for someone
Are you buying something because you like it or because you really want the receiver of the gift to like it even though it is not really for them? If you have to buy a gift for someone you don’t know very well then give something that everybody uses or if you are really lost, a gift card to Amazon or another store that has practically everything is better than getting them something that may appear like you didn’t even try to consider them. A cheaper or smaller gift someone can actually use is better than buying something fancy that is useless to them.
Do something for yourself
Do you spend the entire holiday catering to others? Does it seem like all you do is cook and clean and spend money? Well, that is a bunch of garbage. Everyone needs to take some time to do something for themselves while doing all that for others. I didn’t cook anything major for Thanksgiving this year. It was good to take a year off from it. Take a day and devour a book if that is your deal. Make sure to have a few evenings planned where you don’t have to run around like a nut to get everything done and keep everyone happy.
Remember that it is okay to say no
Some people get invited to so many different gatherings that before they realize it, they don’t have a free moment to spare during the whole holiday season. If you are a social butterfly, then that may be a great feeling, but it can be very stressful too. It also puts one in a position of picking and choosing or being afraid of offending if an invite is turned down. Well, the fact is that most will not be offended. It is a busy social season. I don’t go to a lot of events. Pretty much I go to the required family ones, and that is it. There is nothing wrong with saying no or that you have other plans. It is your holiday, and you don’t have to go to a gathering every week or several times a week.
When in doubt keep quiet
I would rather someone ask if I am okay or if something is the matter because I am being quiet than deal with engaging in some conversations or with some people. Learn the art of smiling and nodding and the graceful exit. Don’t take the bait when someone is trying to draw you into a conversation, especially when the topic is something you would rather not discuss. Silence or something close to it can be golden when used at the right time and place.
Ask yourself if you are really going to do any good trying to explain something that is there is a disagreement about? Enlightening others is one thing, but it is usually pretty clear to me when someone really has their mind made up, and you are just poking the bear. There is no changing some people’s minds, and if you try to or ask them why they believe a certain way or no explain something in detail, it makes things worse.
Do not take the bait if someone starts being rude about prepping and starts in with the stereotypes
If you are concerned about how to deal with this, then you may want to take a look at “Overcoming Prepper Stereotypes.”
Of course, there is no help for some so you will probably need to grit your teeth and walk away. Major rudeness and negativity is often someone trying to overcompensate for their insecurities. Something to keep in mind for the particularly difficult to deal with people in your life.
