Greetings from Japan!
Welcome to Uncle Mike’s Bitcoin Emporium! Since 2013, Tokyo’s pre-eminent dealer of Bitcoin.
For nearly 1/25th of a decade, Uncle Mike’s Bitcoin Emporium has been the nation’s preeminent dealer of Bitcoin. Dealers and collectors everywhere, episodically recognize Uncle Mike’s reputation for buying and selling only authentic, high quality products out of our Midtown location. You might also recognize Uncle Mike when you meet him as he is a famous Japanese television Teen Idol appearing in many Japanese Anime! (Ok, well, that part about the teen idol and Anime is not true). Whether new to the business, adding to an already extensive collection, searching for a nice gift, or looking for a unique investment opportunity, come visit us for the finest authentic merchandise on the market today.
Uncle Mike’s Bitcoin and Collectables Emporium (formerly known as “Mike’s Muffler-Rama, Comics & Collectables”) is a family owned and operated dealer of Bitcoin and collectibles. For nearly 1/25th of a decade, we’ve offered our customer’s world-class quality, knowledge, service, political opinions, divorce counseling, loyalty, price and even sometimes a cup of coffee! We will not be undersold! Our business was built on integrity and trust, and we strive to maintain our standing as the neighborhood’s most knowledgeable and reputable dealer.
Uncle Mike’s Quality
Too often, people shop for price and forget about quality. Me too. I hate it when that happens! Uncle Mike’s New & Used Bitcoin, Comics and Collectables Emporium promise only the highest quality for our collectors. That is a statement very few dealers can make. We are proud of the term, “Mike Quality,” which has become a statement in the business, synonymous with the “finest available” (and smile when you say that!) You can buy from us with the confidence that our nearly 1/25th of a decade reputation backs each and every purchase. In addition to our lunchtime guarantee, we offer certificates of authenticity from only the most respected, industry leading sources (Federal Reserve, US Mint, Peter Parker and my wife). With us, there is never a risk in a sometimes extremely risky business! Shop at Uncle Mike’s New & Used Bitcoin, Comics, Collectables and Antique Emporium with confidence for rare Bitcoin, comics, vintage sports memorabilia, autographs and knick-knacks. We guarantee that you will be treated fairly-whether buying or selling… But mostly buying – we usually are not interested in the junk most people are selling!
|Uncle Mike personally grades each and every Bitcoin|
Uncle Mike started out collecting baseball cards as a pale, supple, young boy in the early 1960s. He then went on to hone his skills collecting rare and valuable Hulk, Spiderman and Silver Surfer comics. As everyone knows, those baseball cards and comic books made many people extremely rich in the process as, opposed to the US dollar that is not backed by anything, Marvel Comics are backed by editor Stan Lee, Captain America and the Fantastic Four; and, even better, those baseball cards are backed by Topps and Fleer bubblegum makers! In the last several decadesdays, Uncle Mike began offering expert advice and top quality in the ever-expanding market of Bitcoin numismatics!
Word from Uncle Mike
My name is Uncle Mike and I am here to talk to you about the wonderful life-changing opportunities Bitcoin offers. I am looking for people; people just like you, who want to change their lives and get a hold of their financial freedom. That’s why I started my new Bitcoin business and that’s why I am here; I want to show you how you too can make your own Bitcoin profits ranging from 50 to 100 to 500% virtually overnight* and become worth gazillions of Bitcoins!
A Word About Bitcoin Grading
Being able to grade Bitcoin is an art that usually takes years moments of experience to master. Your main Bitcoin grading tiers are: Mint, Uncirculated, Fine, Good and Junk. You will also sometimes hear a Bitcoin being given a grade of “Scam”! Choose only coins that have been given the “Uncle Mike Grade of Approval!”
To protect your Bitcoins, it is a good idea to wear white cotton gloves when handling Bitcoins, especially expensive ones, as corrosion will seriously affect the value of a Bitcoin. Ewww! Don’t touch that cruddy Bitcoin! You don’t know where it’s been!
Why You Can Trust Uncle Mike
Uncle Mike once went back to his university dorm room, stoned as usual, and saw a rare and collectable Mickey Mantle baseball card on the TV news that sold for $5000 at auction! Mike owned that very same card! When Mike rushed back to his folk’s home to get the card and take it to the baseball card dealer, he was chagrined to find that the dealer would only offer him $5 for it because the card was so beat up and not in Mint condition. Mike said, “Of course it was all beat up, dude! What do you expect to happen to a baseball card after an 8-year-old kid put it into his bicycle spokes?” Mike added later, “How else was I to make my Schwinn sound cool like a World War II Mustang P-51 fighter?”
Message From Our Legal Department
We at Uncle Mike’s Used & New Bitcoin, Comics, Baseball Cards, Antiques, Home Brewery and Collectables Emporium are old-fashioned guys. We cannot accept any responsibility for your losses on Bitcoin, comics, baseball cards, signed sports junk, etc. Also, we are only interested in real money (funny that!) we really don’t like this new-fangled electronic money at all. I mean, really! If we can, we still would like to trade in real things, like gold or silver. No gold? OK, how about cigarettes, canned food, coffee or even bottles of whiskey? Heck, if you don’t have that, then we will gladly accept animal furs or hand-made goods.
To Contact Us
You can contact our support team by sending us an email… Oops! There’s a power outage or the Internet is down and you can’t spend your Bitcoin nor can you contact us? Not to worry, we still accept old-fashioned things that are tangible – like post cards or Indian smoke signals.
*Past performance is no guarantee of future results.
Thanks for the inspiration, David Leibowitz!