Recently by Becky Akers: In Loco Insanity
Yeehaw! The TSA's "public image" is so "poor" that Congress is counseling the agency on how to improve it. Yes, Congress, that sewer of corruption, criminality, and incompetence, whose own "approval rating" crawled upwards to 17% from "a record-low 10% in February." Perhaps scheming to improve those scores, its Homeland Security Transportation Subcommittee lashed John Pistole, Chief Pervert at the universally hated TSA, with a wet noodle last Thursday because of the agency's “poor customer service image" (pssst, buffoons: the trouble runs way deeper than mere image).
Not surprisingly, the advice Congress' multi-millionaires dispensed is as out-of-touch and nonsensical as their other prattle. Oh, blessed day, should the TSA follow it, for the agency would implode. Alas, the TSA has made a career of defying Congress, so don't expect its autocrats to heed these elected dimwits any time soon.
Reviewing Congress' wisdom is always good for a laugh, so let's survey the pearls it handed out last week. First up is Rep. Bennie Thompson [D-Miss]. How to deal with the TSA, a bureaucracy that sexually molests everyone, even children; endangers the public's health; thieves from passengers as often as it paws them; and stuns with its profligacy and all-around ineptitude? Bennie proposes "an independent analysis of the TSA’s way of doing business. u2018Maybe we ought to have a fresh set of eyes,' Thompson told Pistole…"
Isn't that a congresscritter's classic reflex? Every day, the TSA traumatizes old ladies, expectant mothers, survivors of cancer, and little kids, including disabled ones; heck, it's even killed a man. But Bennie, perhaps the most ineffectual bumbler ever to disgrace mankind, doesn't demand its immediate disbanding. No, he pines for "a fresh set of eyes" – sic for "yet another commission living high on our dime as it rubs its chin and announces that the TSA only needs more power and money for even greater effectiveness." Wanna bet Bumbling Bennie sees himself chairing that commission?
Striving his hardest to surpass Bennie's self-serving imbecility was Rep. Mike u2018The Moron" Rogers (R-Ala.). He attributes the TSA's "problem" (sic for problems) to its recent groping of Henry Kissinger – a "VIP[,]…former Secretary of State," and "Nobel Prize winner," as Hank's flacks in the corporate media were quick to note. Nor is ole Hank the only "celeb" with whom the TSA got frisky: its deviants also manhandled his fellow psychopath, Donald Rumsfeld. That had The Moron spluttering, "There are certain people that are just so well-known that you’ve just got to use your common sense."
I daresay few folks loathe the TSA more than moi. Yet even I cheered its assaults on this diabolical duo. Between them, Hank and Rummy have slaughtered how many millions? For sure someone ought to vet them as thoroughly and humiliatingly as possible before turning them loose on normal, innocent people. Yo, Perv: cavity checks for both of u2018em next time. And no lubricant.
Meanwhile, how oafish a moron must Mike be to misunderstand this elemental fact: passengers object to the TSA's molesting them, their wives, their kids, and grandparents, not politicians who so amply deserve it. Imagine Joe Taxpayer's fury when the rich and powerful waltz past the gate-rapists while he stands spread-eagled with a blue glove probing his junk. Yet that is precisely what The Moron recommends: the TSA should desist “[b]ecause if you start patting them down, people are going to say, ‘They’re patting down Beyonce.’ I mean, she’s not going to blow a plane up.”
If that doesn't spark the revolution, I don't know what will. Leviathan's schools indoctrinate victims with thirteen years of drivel on democracy; graduates pretty much believe we're all the same, one happy, gigantic commune under Big Brother. If Joe Taxpayer is a threat to American aviation, so are Hank and Rummy and, yes, Beyonce, too, as well as Hither, Thither, and Yanni.
Pistole the Pervert apparently mistook the peanut gallery for serious critics and mounted a defense, lame though it was. His agency's utter evil and incompetence is OK, he told the congressional nuts, because passengers have quit grousing: "Pistole said of 525,000 calls to TSA's call center in 2011, only 6 percent or 7 percent were complaints."
Which indicates the smashing success of the TSA's "Traveller Redress Program." This bureaucratic shunt busies the aggrieved for years with filling out forms though Our Masters seldom respond at all, and never satisfactorily. Then there are the threats from the checkpoint's thugs that grumblers will miss their flights – or worse – if they don't hush, as well as the implication that they'll wind up on the No-fly List. All in all, I'm surprised as many as 6 or 7% of callers are still brave – or stupid – enough to object.
But while The Perv rejoices that few dissidents report their beefs to his bureaucracy, denunciations elsewhere have exploded. The corporate media remains reluctant to protest any of the State's droppings, even those that stink as badly as the TSA. But readers of its propaganda aren't. They scathingly and repeatedly call for the agency's abolition on virtually every article that permits comments – even puff pieces urging the peons to appreciate their fondlers.
And back when Obummer pretended he wasn't an emperor, he ballyhooed "Petition[ing] the White House With We the People." Almost 32,000 folks signed one of the first such entreaties to appear, demanding the TSA's abolition – again, not mere reform but annihilation. So enthusiastically did they affix their names that they easily beat the "threshold" of "5,000 signatures within 30 days" Our Rulers had established.
You'll notice that the TSA still flourishes, that it's nowhere near dissolution or even reduction, and that the only response these tens of thousands of Americans received was irrelevant and insulting boilerplate from The Perv. What to do? Earlier Americans, whose "repeated Petitions ha[d] been answered only by repeated injury," left us some guidance for such an occasion: "whenever any form of government becomes destructive of [liberty], it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it…"
Those ancestors did indeed alter theirs. It didn't work. I say we try abolition this time.
Becky Akers [send her mail] writes primarily about the American Revolution. Her novel set during the war will be published this summer.