Thanks, But I'll Take the Constitution as My 'Passenger Advocate'

Recently by Becky Akers: Blago's Saga

You know an idea's bad when two politicians propose it. And you know it's really bad if one of them is Sen. Charles "UpChuck" Schumer (D-NY).

So naturally, the notion's garnering plaudits from those perverted morons at the Department of Homeland Security [sic].

UpChuck perennially pursues publicity; last weekend, that quest had him joining one of New York's state senators to exploit three elderly women from Long Island. Their age and infirmities recently handed the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) an excuse to strip-search them at JFK International Airport — as if carcinogenic scanners and pedophilic pawing of little kids aren't reason enough to abolish this bureaucracy.

But rather than disband the TSA, our diabolical duo called a press conference. Yes! There they used the victims' sons as props to hype themselves and their sorry "solution" to the agency's atrocities: a "passenger advocate" at every airport, drawn from the TSA's existing ranks of kleptomaniacs, voyeurs, and gate-rapists. Looks as if the unions should "contribute" more heavily to the DNC: here's an opportunity to add a couple thousand more goldbrickers nationwide (almost 500 commercial airports serve the country, and each would "require" at least one "advocate" per shift), but UpChuck and his sidekick blew it.

At any rate, UpChuck claims the TSA's criminals "will assist travelers with concerns over inappropriate screening processes, immediately and on-site." Yeah, right. When has a bureaucrat ever "assisted" anyone, let alone "immediately"? Or arbitrated fairly between his co-workers and taxpayers?

Meanwhile, passengers already boast an "advocate" far superior to anything politicians could invent: the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution. It categorically prohibits the TSA's mass, warrantless searches — and all the concomitant abuses.

But at the TSA, neither the goofiness nor unconstitutionality of "passenger advocates" matter. Its Big Bowel, John "the Pervert" Pistole, gushed this Thursday, “Oh, I think it’s a great proposal by Sen. Schumer."

This comes after a week's worth of the TSA's pooh-poohing just that proposal and trotting out a counter one for "a new 800 consumer phone number in the new year…" Hmmm. Do you suppose UpChuck and Pervert have a bet going as to which of them can feed the most outlandish absurdity to the corporate media for those imbeciles to report seriously?

Also endorsing the sop and sham of "passenger advocates" is Janet Napolitano, Largest Dimwit at the DHS. “Her question is how soon we can get it rolled out,” The Perv announced — with wide-eyed innocence, I'm sure. And in case he hadn't insulted our intelligence enough, he added the usual pablum about "the goal," which is "balanc[ing] security and privacy in a way u2018that respects each passenger, each traveler' …"

I assume the lunacy of "passenger advocates" originated with the state senator, Michael Gianaris, and that he convinced UpChuck of its potential for PR. Gianaris is your typical, local tyrant: he "practiced law as a litigator in private practice for several years" before bellying up to the public trough, where he's gorged ever since. He "aid[ed]" a congresscritter, then descended to the state assembly, and now preens in the senate. So brief was What's-His-Name sojourn in the real world that he actually brags about "introducing legislation in 2006 creating an independent commission to redraw legislative and congressional district lines." Biiiiiiggggg whoop.

The guy probably won't ever escape the state senate, either, if his instincts are so poor that he enlisted UpChuck to push "passenger advocates." In a profession that not only encourages but demands megalomania, UpChuck plumbs new depths. Sen. Bob Dole (R-KS) supposedly jeered that "the most dangerous place in Washington is between Charles Schumer and a television camera." So if What's-His-Name figured he'd piggyback his "advocates" on UpChuck's command of those cameras, he must be kicking himself (oh, please, oh, please!): over the last week, the media's increasingly ignored him until now their stories mention only UpChuck.

Meanwhile, marvel at UpChuck's nerve in tackling a topic on which he's completely ignorant. This sociopath has no more experience with aviation than you or I do.

Rather than an expert whose advice the industry welcomes, he's simply a passenger — and a nasty one at that. Two years ago, he called a stewardess a "crude term," as the New York Times put it. "After an announcement that cellphones must be turned off, both senators [UpChuck was sitting next to New York's other excuse for a senator, Kirsten Gillibrand] initially kept talking on their phones. Ms. Gillibrand ended her call, but Mr. Schumer kept talking. The flight attendant then approached Mr. Schumer and told him the entire plane was waiting for him to shut off his phone."

Yep, it's an asinine and completely unconstitutional regulation. So sponsor legislation ordering the FAA to rescind it, UpChuck. Instead, "when the flight attendant … walked away Mr. Schumer turned to Ms. Gillibrand and described the attendant as a u2018bitch.'"

Only congresscritters may freely express themselves in aviation's gulag: mere taxpayers who so presume are kicked off planes. In June, Delta Airlines sicced the cops on Robert Sayegh of Brooklyn after a steward overheard the F-word. “I was just kind of talking to the guy sitting next to me," Mr. Sayegh recalled. "I said ‘What is taking so long?’ I said u2018What the ‘F’ is going on?’ I could see if I directed it at (the flight attendant), but I didn’t even speak to him.” Nonetheless, police "escort[ed]" him off the plane.

Nor did UpChuck's vulgarity exhaust his arrogance and the "we-are-just-so-important" attitude characterizing Our Rulers. "…the phone rang again moments after the attendant had told Mr. Schumer to shut it off. u2018It's Harry Reid calling, I guess health care will have to wait until we land,' Mr. Schumer said."

Like What's-His-Name, UpChuck considers himself competent to control every aspect of our lives though he understands nothing but legislating and lavish lunches with lobbyists. He's never held a real job: following law-school, he scuttled straight to the New York State Assembly. He's haunted one house of Congress or another since. And yet this pampered leech dares dictate to productive entrepreneurs while fobbing off "passenger advocates" on strip-searched seniors.

Chuck Schumer, What's-His-Name, "passenger advocates," and the TSA.

December 17, 2011

Becky Akers [send her mail] writes primarily about the American Revolution.

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