Hurricanes Don't Scare Me, But Our Rulers Sure Do

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As Hurricane Irene threatened the East Coast, Merriam-Webster announced the addition of 150 new words to its dictionary. Among them was "helicopter parent" to describe anyone "overly involved" in his child's life.

If the definition doesn't already include a notation, "See also Big Daddy Government," it should. Busybodies and morons obsessed with what speed we drive, how we educate our kids, whether we drink pasteurized milk, and how many calories our burgers contain have kicked into overdrive with Irene's advent. From the way they bloviate, you'd think they were the Almighty Himself, creators of this tempest — though I grant you, they've manufactured plenty of other, far more murderous storms.

Politicians from the Thief-in-Chief in DC through the governors of affected states down to New York City's Head Nanny harangue us as if they've suddenly acquired a degree in meteorology. These bozos pretend they're as intimately familiar with typhoons as they are with tycoons. And they insist we imbecilic serfs heed their expertise.

I wasn't aware that hurricanes blast either Kenya or Chicago, and they're "relatively rare" in Hawaii. Nonetheless, Obummer pontificates as though he's a veteran of tropical storms: "I cannot stress this highly enough. If you are in the projected path of this hurricane, you have to take precautions now.”

No kidding. Here's my fantasy: after Obummer delivers this insultingly obvious advice, one of the corporate media's reporters raises his hand. "Um, Mr. President, sir, could you explain to all the stupid taxpayers out there what velocity winds have to reach before hurricanes progress from one category to the next? Also, why do snowflakes have six sides? And should we worry about solar flares? What exactly is a solar flare?"

But politicians will wax honest before the mainstream press grows a spine.

In addition to liars and cowards, I've about had it with the orders to evacuate, too. Where do Our Rulers get off, demanding that we abandon our homes for their filthy, dangerous, often lethal shelters? Do they actually dare to presume that we've forgotten Katrina and the Superdome?

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Yet when Mayor Michael Bloomberg isn't vying with Obummer for the Fake-Forecaster-of-the-Year Award, he's badgering New Yorkers to entrust ourselves to Leviathan's tender mercies during the storm. And so he's "mandated" that residents vacate "Zone A" — low areas along the coasts of these metropolitan islands.

Nanny began musing about his edict on Thursday, when Irene was still throwing herself around the Caribbean and dithering about where to head next. It seemed likely she might travel our way, but who knew? Predictions are wrong more often than they're right; I'd be as wealthy as Nanny if I had a nickel for every monstrous storm that refused to obey when Our Rulers swore it would hit us (oh, for citizens that contrary!). Chalk up Nanny's unseemly rush to order us from our lairs to his lust for power.

On the other hand, the War State Journal attributes Nanny's eagerness to a lesson he learned in December: "The mayor's early moves ahead of the hurricane marked a contrast to the last big weather emergency, when a Christmas blizzard combined with a sluggish response from the Bloomberg administration left the city paralyzed for days and dealt a blow to the mayor's approval rating."

I don't know which is worse: a bored billionaire compels us to become wards of the State either because he itches to control our lives or because we're mere pawns in his ratings game.

Thank God that though Our Rulers have stripped New Yorkers of our inalienable right to bear arms, there's still "little authorities could do to force people to leave. u2018We do not have the manpower to go door-to-door and drag people out of their homes,'" Nanny admitted. "But we would if we could." OK, I added that last. Or rather, I extracted it from between the lines and shoved it out into the light to writhe in all its ugliness.

Happily, so many New Yorkers are flouting Nanny's commands that our revolt made headlines: "Hurricane Evacuation Orders Ignored By Many." A miffed Nanny whined that "ignoring evacuation orders u2018isn’t cute,'" even as "Pat Jones, a resident of New York’s Rockaways for 30 years" roared, “There’s no way in hell that we are leaving home … This is my home, and I’m staying here and protecting my home. Wouldn’t you?”

Let's hear it for Pat, who may have taken inspiration from folks down south: "In Nags Head, [NC,] police officer Edward Mann cruised the streets in search of cars in driveways – a telltale sign they planned to stay behind. [Note to self: if ever I move to the u2018burbs, park in garage during storms.] … Some tell Mann they’re staying because they feel safe or because the storm won’t be as bad as predicted. Mann, 25, said some have told him they’ve ridden out more storms than years he’s been alive. Bucky Domanski, 71, … told Mann he wasn’t leaving. The officer handed the retired salesman a piece of paper warning of the perils of staying behind. Domanski said he understood."

And the rebellion spreads: in New Jersey, "Gov. Chris Christie said … a number of senior citizens living in high-rise buildings in Atlantic City were still holding out. Officials sent buses to those buildings and police were trying to talk those seniors into leaving their homes, Christie said. u2018Please allow us to help protect you,' he said."

Yeah, right. Government's idea of "protection" differs radically from ours: witness the sexual assaults with which the Transportation Security Administration "protects" passengers. No sane person ever consigns himself to such sociopaths.

Alas, not everyone thumbs his nose at Leviathan's behests to vamoose. "Barrington Peacock, sitting on a bench along Rockaway Beach, [NY,] said he’s not wasting any time in getting out. … u2018You can’t mess around with Mother Nature, that’s what we learned from Katrina,' he said."

Nope. What we learned from Katrina is that Mother Nature's a sweetheart compared to Big Daddy Government.

August 29, 2011