A Dearth of Depraved Dames

Recently by Becky Akers: EPIC Cooties

In its quixotic quest to protect us from expectant mothers, survivors of cancer, and folks hustling to make their flights, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has painted itself into a corner. Apparently, it employs lopsided proportions of men and women because more of the former than the latter are willing to grope groins for pay.

Yes, this reverses the stereotype of prostitution as a woman's crime. But it also undermines one of the very few "important rights" the TSA magnanimously grants in exchange for stripping every Constitutional protection from us: "All pat-downs [sic for u2018sexual assaults'] are only conducted by same-gender officers [sic for u2018assailants']."

Add to this imbalance the likelihood that the Thousands of so-called men Standing Around the checkpoints "randomly" select more buxom or attractive female than male passengers to paw. Even if they don't manhandle the victims themselves, anecdotal evidence confirms they watch and leer.

And so while the lines of women awaiting molestation grow ever longer, the supply of thuggettes dishing it out grows shorter. Or, as the Washington Post editorializes in its "Local" news, "Building a diverse workforce has become a mantra, hopefully not a hollow one, for organizations in the public and private sectors. For the Transportation Security Administration, gender diversity is more than a goal, it's an absolute necessity. … what happens when there are too few female TSOs [sic for u2018assailants'] to handle" — ha, ha! What a punster! — "the load of female passengers? The answer at Washington Dulles International Airport and others across the country has been to transfer female screeners [sic for u2018assailants'] from baggage inspections to passenger lines."

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I know your heart will bleed as does mine for Our Mistresses when you learn of their suffering from this decision: "Placing women on the passenger lines might seem like a reasonable solution to the staffing problem, but it has ramifications for seniority, transfers, promotions and pay. … [It] also complicates … bidding for shifts. All the women at Dulles, for example, would have to bid for checkpoint shifts, while men could bid for shifts in baggage and checkpoint. One result could be an exacerbation of child-care problems for women."

Ironic, isn't it? Perverts caught sexually assaulting their sisters outside airports usually forfeit their children to the State; those molesting us inside airports enjoy the WaPo's concern about their "child-care problems."

Other parties equally unsavory also bewail this injustice to female slime. Labor unions that couldn't care less about the TSA's gate-rape exploit the agency's newest insult to the rapists. The TSA "'forces [women] into a single-function capacity as opposed to dual- function, as they were before,' said Valyria Lewis, a Memphis TSO speaking in her role as president of AFGE Local 555, which covers [sic for u2018curses'] Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee and Alabama. u2018It limits their marketability to other airports.'" Aaawwwwww.

Valyria's union brings us to the reason that Congress authorized the TSA in the first place, despite the agency's endless violations of the US Constitution. Joseph and Susan Trento explain in Unsafe at Any Altitude: Exposing the Illusion of Aviation Security that a "government labor union …was pressuring Democrats such as former representative Richard Gephardt to support a huge federalized workforce to replace the private screeners." They quote Kenneth Quinn, formerly an attorney with the FAA, who noted, "…you had a federal union that really wanted fifty-five thousand jobs, a very powerful PAC, and they are, like, 95 percent Democratic…They saw it as a great opportunity to get a bunch more members into a federal government union."

But the leg-breakers had to wait until a socialist Democratic administration replaced a socialist Republican one to realize their ambition. Then, bingo: John "The Pervert" Pistole, "TSA Administrator … announced that after an exhaustive review of data … [blah, blah, blah], he has decided to grant partial collective bargaining rights to the TSA workforce." Next time a deviant abuses you at the airport, grab a unionist and thank him.

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Valyria is everything we might expect from someone doubly degenerate, a savage who not only sexually attacks others but bosses a union's local chapter, too. These twin vices apparently leave her no time for exercise, judging from her intimidating girth. Nor does she disappoint when it comes to aggression or belligerence. In short, I feel exceedingly sorry for any suitcase, even if it's a Samsonite, forced to endure Valyria's attentions, let alone a woman of mere flesh and blood.

Meanwhile, the TSA's "schedule change based on gender" called all of Valyria's very limited eloquence into play. “It’s just un-American,” splutters this harridan. And she should know: she makes her living off perhaps the most un-American behavior Leviathan has ever unleashed. “As a woman, I was outraged.”

Valyria, we hear you. Anyone of even minimal decency has nearly choked on his outrage each time you and your accomplices assailed another passenger for almost a decade now. A very, very long decade, I might add.

Our nincompoop "traveled to Nashville this week over concerns about a memo [regarding the u2018schedule change based on gender'] posted behind glass at Nashville International." Whether she refers to the trip or the memo when she huffs, “It was desperation. It was anger. It was a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness because they felt that they had no other outlet," I have no idea. Nor is there any clue as to who "they" are. But I warned you about the limits to the eloquence here, didn't I?

No matter. Valyria is the sort who endlessly, mindlessly spews. “As a woman, it’s frustrating for me, to tell me that I can’t [search baggage]. To simply just tell me that I can’t because I’m a woman; that’s frustrating to me," — yeah, so you said — "and that’s why I make the stand.”

Imagine being such a mental and moral midget that you consider this a "stand."

"'We’ve fought EEO cases for women across the country and won those cases because the TSA can’t use operational need to justify an alleged discrimination,' said Lewis. … 'We’re willing to fight it all the way to the end…'"

You go, girl! For sure, the TSA deserves nothing less!

April 6, 2011