The Fratboy-in-Chief


What about all the noble efforts to get The Decider to cease making imbecilic decisions?

Bush continues to resist factual and moral suasion. Starting with the U.N.’s displeasure at and the world condemnation of the 2003 invasion of Iraq, and ending up at last November’s trouncing of Bush’s party in the Congressional elections, Bush has been defiant. Even with the elegant cautions of the Iraq Study Group report, the stern warnings issued by retired U.S. military and the threat of the forthcoming peace march in Washington, George W. Bush remains unfazed. He simply does not listen to advice… unless it’s what he wants to hear.

Let’s face it, for six years The Shrub has made decisions in the same style as he made them on the morning of September 11, 2001 when he learned that the country was under attack by al-Qaeda. Watch the film: "Golly gee… what do I do?" Or, even worse, he just does what his gut tells him irrespective of the facts.

America’s dry drunk of a president knows diddlysquat about, and lacks respect for history, economics, and the normal folk like you and me. What he does know and respect is how to cheat, lie and connive his way towards being the big man in the frat house.

I’ve got news for Frat Boy. The White House is not a Delta Kappa Epsilon outpost let alone its head office.

Our Beloved Decider is a spoiled brat. He cheated to get into office. He cheated to stay in office. Living on his own fantasy island he has surrounded himself with people who manipulate him and the world toward disaster. Throwing tantrums, Bush bullies anyone who disagrees. Mr. President is loony tunes!

The President of the United States is an indulged child posing as a man. Therein lies the problem.

All efforts to hold accountable The Deciding Brat are based on the rational assumption that he’s an adult. Wrong!

View Bush through the lens of transactional analysis. As explained by the late Dr. Thomas A. Harris in his book I’m OK, You’re Ok, this rational approach of dealing with Bush is going nowhere. All it does is ruffle the POTUS feathers. Assuming the role of The Parent, Bush is The Child bossing around all The Adults of the world. Reasoning with Bush isn’t going to work. We’re OK… Bush is not Ok!

I’m not real big on corporal punishment. But as a parent I know there are times when Mom and Dad have to lay down the law. Shirk this duty and you can bet your bottom dollar your kids will grow up to be spoiled brats with no respect for anyone or anything… just like George.

It seems Big Daddy George H. W. Bush and his Missus were too wimpy or too busy to bend little George W. over their knee to administer an old-fashioned butt whuppin’. Who raised this kid? The pool-cleaning service? And let’s not forget, Daddy’s friends in high places have always gotten the silver spoon kid into that which he wanted and out of that into which he got.

I for one do not want to see my country, the Constitution and thousands of lives wasted because The Decider Brat never had his buttocks blistered!

Unfortunately, it’s too late for firm parenting. Today we are left with one option: an old fashioned impeachment. That will do the trick. But Congress had better get a move-on. Bush and his cronies are slippery devils. No time to loose!

Unless the recommendations come from Israel, AIPAC, the American Enterprise Institute, PNAC and the Federalist Society, Bush has always done the exact opposite of advice given him. Look at the Iraq Study Group Report, which advised a withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. The Decider Brat decided to escalate. The ISG report advised "engaging Iran and Syria in talks." Bush appears to have crossed out "in talks" and decided that the word, "engage," means to attack.

So, maybe we should consider some reverse psychology? All you parents out there know what that is. Tell Little George to increase troop levels and bomb the hell out of Iran and Syria! Since it won’t be his decision, he’ll do just the opposite! Naw… the more I think about it, the more I don’t like that idea. Bush’s main goal has always been to destroy Iran and Syria. Besides, the self-declared "war president" probably decided on more war ages ago.

There is, however, one entity to whom Bush claims to listen… God. God tells Bush what to do. Bush has said so. O… K… Do you find that a bit hard to swallow? Do you believe that God would tell the president to start a war and to slaughter 655,000, and counting, of His children? Don’t you think if God really wanted His biggest mistake, mankind, exterminated He could find a less ludicrous instrument of His will than George W. Bush?

But let’s give George the benefit of the doubt and just say… he hears voices. This is not a good sign in a world leader, but maybe it can be used to rein in the madness. We’ll worry about the straightjacket and rubber room later. The important goal is to save humanity from Bush’s mess.

So, here’s my suggestion. Plant a few hidden speakers under the Executive Bed, in the Oval Office and out there on the ranch in Crawford. Spare no expense. Hire a good actor with a powerful voice like James Earl Jones to record The Voice of God. The script will command Bush to end the war and resign. Simple.

I can hear it now.


"Who’s there?"

"This is The Lord your God, you moron!"

"What is my mission father?"

"I command you to stop behaving like a nincompoop! End the war in Iraq and resign!"

If God is the only parent that can tell this out of control child what to do, then God is going to have to lay down the law, the sooner the better. Say a prayer brothers and sisters!

Elizabeth Gyllensvard contributed to and edited this story.