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Patriotic Posters

I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you at the numbers of nasty mails I get from ingrates who fail to see just how much of a cheerleader and a Bush-patriot I really am. In fact, I’d bet any one of you a Coke and a Crispy Creme donut that I am more of a Bush-loving patriot than all of you put together (figuratively speaking, of course). And I’m going to prove it to you today.

In-spite of what you may have heard or read — I actually do research my articles — sometimes. Why, just for my last article, I painstaking went through about 10,000 posters (I did, really) that I found on a Google search to find just the right one to pair up with that Soviet poster nonsense. Let me tell you that some of the propaganda posters I viewed were an extremely surprising eye-opener and they just went to prove to me, once again, that our system of democracy is the best. In fact, it’s bestest of all. And you can quote me on that. Here I have selected the best posters for your edification as a sort of “LRC on-line Propaganda Museum”

Admission is free. A walk through this virtual museum will show even the most leftist commie type drag-queers that America is different. The American government doesn’t go around screwing its own citizens like the other bad guys do. No siree! It’s those dirty Commies and Nazis who do that. These posters will prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that when it comes to shafting the enemy or screwing the people over, that our government is second to none. Number one! USA! USA! USA! — Sorry about that. I do get carried away sometimes.

Please enjoy our little museum tour. Wherever possible, I have added explanations and comments to the posters so that you may understand better or explain their meaning to any of the little ones that may tag along. I promise you, this will be a museum trip that you shant soon forget. It brings a patriotic tear to my eye every time I walk through. I’m sure it’ll do the same for you.

These posters are not in any particular order (we’re remodeling). But I have showcased them for you here so that you can see for yourself just how scummy those other governments are — as opposed to our government. You’ll see that these posters prove that opposable thumbs are not all they are cracked up to be. These wonderfully designed works of art will show you just how important you are to democracy and for winning all wars for the benefit of all mankind; the War To End All Wars; destroying that evil Kaiser-dude; making Hitler pay, and other good stuff.

Those nasty Krauts! See? World War One was all the Kaiser’s fault. We didn’t want a war with Jerry. We were forced into it. Our pals in Jolly Old needed help. And it was up to the good old USA to help them. What other choice did we have? We had to help them… to protect their empire from the German empire. I mean, if those nasty Krauts would have won that war, our banks would have never gotten their money back. And we sure gave Jerry a nasty surprise, eh, wot?

No, the army is not all work. Hardly so. Not only do you get to protect the honor of country and King, you get to give Jerry a jolly good thrashing all the while enjoying a butch game with the boys in a brisk game of rugby or football. And that’s not the only benefit to being a man in uniform; when you are off duty, you can dress in a smashingly smart style that will make all the ladies head’s turn. Score one for the British Royal Army. Jolly good show!

Which picture would you like to show your friends? My God, man, have you no pride? Have you no shame? Where were you at the Battle of Verdune? Or The Battle of the Somme? Or even at the Battle of Jutland? While our boys were giving Jerry a black eye that he’ll never forget, you were reading books and playing tennis with the ladies! What!? Who do you think you are, the snooty faced brat son of a diplomat or a member of the aristocracy? You are? Oh, pardon me, I must have confused you with someone else. My mistake. Very good. Carry on.

Those sneaky Nazis will try anything to get the money out of the people’s pockets to pay for their dreams of world expansion. Here’s a knock-out Nazi youth (who scores a 10+ in my book of major babes) going around and stealing peoples money so that Hitler may annex the Sudetenland. Have these people no shame? It should be a major war-crime using children to help gather the people’s hard-earned cash for the war-effort. Simply shocking. Those savages. (Say doesn’t she look like that Ingrid chick who was Bogie’s old girlfriend in the 1942 movie Casablanca?)

Oh isn’t this little girl cute? And she wants daddy to buy her a Victory Bond to help fight for freedom. How sweet! Just goes to show how messed up the youth is today. My kids all would want a Game-Boy or cold-hard cash. I know if I gave my kids a Victory Bond today, they’d say, “What’s this!?” and probably throw it away. I’ll bet those little brats were listening to what naysayers like Smedley Darlington Butler, Major General of the United States Marine Corps, said when he slagged off World War I Victory Bonds in his book War is a Racket by saying: