• A Letter From Wormwood

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    of Eden

    Dear Gall:

    is with great satisfaction we here at Headquarters are reading your
    reports. We hunger for correspondence like yours from the other
    young demons, but we are inevitably disappointed; they all seem
    like such amateurs compared to you. Don't think for one moment in
    mortal time your work goes unnoticed. In fact we have a gala planned
    for you when you return at the end of the century, or sooner if
    things continue to work out so swimmingly.

    activities have reached the lowest circles here, and it is with
    great pride I can report that Numero Uno thinks your use of false
    conversion and the subsequent civic religion in this struggle very
    wise indeed. You have been especially successful in deluding the
    hardhearted into believing they've had "born again" conversion
    experiences, "Gott mit uns," you sly devil! This is so
    wonderfully traditional, and is often overlooked by our young Turks"
    and it hasn't really been done so successfully since Simon de Montfort's
    Albigensian Crusade, and Oliver Cromwell's Irish slaughter, Bravo!
    Who says you can't continue winning with the tried and true methods?
    The basics I've always said, we need to stick with the basics!

    such a delicious irony when you think that what we did with atheism
    in the last century you are doing with theism in this century, hooray!
    Never do these predominantly "powerful" humans with an
    unrestrained mean streak finds such a wonderful rationalization
    for killing than when they can convince themselves they are doing
    it for "You Know Who," saving civilization and all that.
    Not to mention an oil well or two, eh? Heh, heh. I love you man!

    here at Hq. particularly adore the photo's you have been enclosing
    with your very informative letters. We are heartened with the increase
    of "collateral damage." The photographs of the young children
    are especially endearing. Keep them coming, we are all suckers for
    them; we're just a bunch of sentimental old fools.

    are doing a wonderful job keeping such controversial items out of
    the mainstream media. News coverage has been cleverly sanitized
    and packaged for the "Homeland." How did you overthrow
    the "free press" so easily? Just a few years ago they
    were wailing and gnashing their teeth over another war; Vietnam,
    but the committee pointed out that in those days your Region's armed
    forces were fighting Marxist/Leninists there, and the mainstream
    media were big fans of those two, as are we.

    could conclude that they are merely dovish on wars they don't approve
    of, and hawkish on those they do approve of, according to their
    owners’ and editors’ ulterior ideologies, and it is certainly not
    a generous impulse of patriotism. Au contraire, we can conclude
    that you had skillfully corrupted the press way before Vietnam,
    you scoundrel!

    you return for some much needed rest and recuperation we would like
    you to put together a manual for future training purposes. We would
    particularly like you to emphasize the manipulation of the aggressor's
    population, as in the tactic you call "softening them up,"
    i.e., your patient, well planned corruption of their souls through
    their colossal affluence. We here at Hq. find that so resourceful.
    It has been lying fallow since the Roman Empire, yet you have resurrected
    it (pardon my French) in such a creative manner and with such massive
    moral destruction, and now physical destruction as well, via their
    risk-free military technological preeminence. Ah, absolute power!

    precept that the more spiritually slothful a society becomes, the
    more they need some sort of supercilious mission to re-enforce their
    feelings of self-righteousness, wow! That certain caveats are necessary;
    it must be an "armchair" endeavor to be undertaken by
    others, at no personal sacrifice or discomfort to themselves, and
    it must have at least a scrap of circumstantial raison d'être
    to reinforce their overweening pride with the necessary "virtue."
    Numero Uno calls it "just folks bread and circuses," and
    you understood this from the beginning, you devil you. Oh how you
    knew, you ingenious fellow, that a deceitful government could play
    such a population like a fiddle!

    must admit, I am envious when I reflect on all you've accomplished
    in so short a time, Gall. I have trod the same paths as you, although
    in the last century, and I too accomplished much, (under the tutelage
    of a fine Administrator) but not in recent memory have we regarded
    such a pusillanimous massacre, and destruction of an already (oh
    so skillfully) disarmed and destitute society. You are a fox!

    at Hq. we fairly salivate with the hopeful aroma of incense mixed
    with cordite in the wind. May we dare perceive the final hour, and
    to envision the nightmare of things to come?

    you further success, and hurry home!

    One Napalm
    Crossing, Hades 666

    cc: Screwtape

    9, 2003

    Raymond [send him mail] is
    a husband, father, grandfather, former Vietnam Marine, Alaska State
    Trooper, Highway Safety Specialist, finally, in my advanced years,
    a college graduate, and above all, a believer in both faith and


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