Eye on the Elites

According to US News, campaigning for the Senate in New York has left first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton stressed out. Frankly, it doesn’t do much for our digestive tract either. The report also states that nonstop fund-raising has put Mrs. Clinton in a "foul mood…she feels that New York contributors are too demanding." Just give her the $100,000, people. You get Hillary. It’s SO tacky to want anything more. British researchers have discovered that "children confuse the prime minister, God and religious leaders." According to one Natasha, aged seven, for instance, Prime Minister Tony Blair "has got grey long hair, curly with a grey beard, a grey-like dressy thing and he does miracles." In this country, only the media, Hollywood actors, academics and intellectuals would believe such nonsense about President Clinton. Children aren’t so foolish, save perhaps for an occasional White House intern. This week’s new health hazard is the underwired brassiere, at least if you’re wearing one while seeking shelter under a tree from a thunderstorm. Two women so attired were killed by lightning in London’s Hyde Park. Obviously, ladies confronted with threatening weather should either go inside or remove their brassieres at once. In Politics’ Wan World Of Predictable Suits and Speeches, Why Pick On Al Gore?" asks Robin Givhan, Washington Post staff writer. Why, indeed. Let his boughs continue to shelter the saplings and small creatures of the forest without all the bad jokes. Thanks to the Wall Street Journal for passing along this sample from a HUD document titled "Resident Rights and Reponsibilities" written in what bureaucrats fondly imagined to be "Creole" and paid for by yuh lawn-suffren Merkin taxpayuh: "Yuh as a rezedent, ave di rights ahn di rispansibilities to elp mek you HUD-asisted owzing ah behta owme fi yuh ahn yuh fambily. Dis is a brochure distributed to yuh cawze Hud ah provide some fawm ahf asistance aur subsidy fi di whole apawtment buildin. As ah pawt ahfits dedication fi maintain di bes pawsible living environment fi all rezedents, yuh HUD field affice encourage ahn suppowts…" ahn lahk dat, ahn mon, kenya beleef dees federal garbotch. Happy 24th Anniversary to the Clintons. "Call me a romantic," says David Letterman, but I think it’s great that after 24 years, they can still fake a relationship." Bernard Lewinsky, Monica’s dad, is bummed about a TV character using the phrase "getting a Lewinsky" to describe oral sex. Why, he asks, don’t they call it "getting a Clinton"? Bernie, it’s because a "Clinton" is what the rest of us have been getting since 1993, and with you saying "good job," too. President Clinton went out for a remarkable round of golf late Sunday afternoon. It was a sudden decision, giving neither the media nor his Secret Service more than a few minutes warning. He played in rain and kept on when it was pitch black, determined, he said, to get in 18 holes. He ignored the rules, sprayed golf balls all over the course, lied about his scores, kept everyone in the dark and made a nuisance of himself. Come to think of it, for Bill Clinton, that’s not remarkable at all. Timothy J. Wheeler, long a prominent figure in the conservative movement, writes from Indiana.