The Key
to a Happy Life
by
Jeffrey A. Tucker
Ah,
Spring, the time when the landscape appears as if it were painted
by a great artist, when the birds make music of symphonic quality,
and when the very air we breath feels air conditioned. That last
point is particularly important, because it is only true so long
as we are outside.
If
we are inside, it is a different matter altogether.
Most
of the year, indoor air is fabulously fresh, clean, and circulating
at the right temperature, thanks to the greatest source for clean
wonderful air: not the Clean Air Act but central air conditioning
and heating. When people say, hey, turn on the air, it is literally
true. We hardly open windows anymore, which (not being Mr. Outdoors)
I think is fine in principle.
But
in the Spring, the air goes off. It is no longer cold enough for
heat but not yet warm enough for air conditioner. The thermostat
tells the machine to stay put. You could turn on just the blower,
but who thinks of doing that? So the air just sort of sits there,
dormant and still. It is the right temperature, but it is not moving.
You
might not notice this at first. But once you focus on it, you suddenly
realize: I'm suffocating!
This
is precisely the revelation that hit me two nights ago. For two
weeks, nights had been oddly miserable. I wasn't too hot or too
cold, just oddly and unidentifiably uncomfortable. I would wake
somehow unrested. Am I sick? Am I getting old? Finally it hit me.
The only circulation in this room comes from human breath!
Then
it hit me: this room needs a fan running! On it came, and with it,
life itself. The night was suddenly glorious, clean, and happy.
All dreams were dreamy. I awoke and there was once again music in
the air, the feel of flowers, the sound of birds (metaphorically
of course). The fan had brought the Spring indoors.
Then
I began to notice something. This problem isn't limited to the bedroom.
It afflicts virtually all indoor space. In the Spring, with neither
heater nor air conditioner, indoor air begins to sink into a stultifying
blechiness. If you are sitting in the same spot, you are breathing
the same air again and again.
My
office needed a fan too! I turned it on to the same effect: the
flowers appeared, the birds sang, the air moved! Suddenly my day
has become as glorious as my night, filled with rapturous, Spring-like
freshness. The fan! God bless it.
At
this point in a superficially trivial essay such as this, one is
supposed to plunge into history and reveal all the details that
one knows about the history of the fan, so that the reader won't
walk away thinking: I can't believe this guy thinks that his personal
fan experience is worthy of an article on LRC!
Or
I could plunge into the economics of the fan, how it is the system
of free enterprise that gives us such choice: ceiling fans, stand-up
fans, desk fans, clip-on fans, hand-held fans, and more. Hence the
system of delivery must be guarded against all encroachment by the
state.
But
thanks to the fan running in my office, I feel no burdens to defer
to any model of writing that is so tediously conventional. In any
case, the economic point is obvious enough in that fans are available
everywhere. As for the history, it turns out that this isn't necessary.
The history of the
fan is already well documented at the website of the Fan Museum
in London.
Of
course this history on this site, a bit pompous, deals with the
inferior and primitive hand-held fan. For the serious stuff that
we use in real life, you have to go to the site of the Fan
Collectors Association in Andover, Kansas, which is appropriately
hip to the magnificence of the electric fan. This site has an amazing
array of pictures of its fans. You can also participate in the Fan
Forum. You can attend an event, which, the site says, is "a great
way to meet new friends, share fan stories, and buy, sell and trade
fans."
Maybe
so. What I do know is that a fan is the key to a happy sleep. It
is the key to a happy, productive day. And because nights and days
make up the whole of life, the fan is the key to a happy life. For
a mere $920, you can bring the spring indoors without the
bugs, or pollen, or other natural menaces. Buy a fan and live a
full life!

April
17, 2003
Jeffrey
Tucker [send him mail]
is editor of www.Mises.org.
Copyright
© 2003 LewRockwell.com
Jeffrey
Tucker Archives
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