Is
Las Vegas Threatened?
by
Vin Suprynowicz
by Vin Suprynowicz
DIGG THIS
Drive through
Goldfield sometime.
A mere century
ago, this was the biggest, boomingest town in Nevada. Its hotel
was the most opulent between Kansas City and San Francisco. It took
80 bartenders to handle the patrons at Tex Rickard's Northern.
Today, Goldfield
is a desolate sprawl of weathered shacks, the old downtown marked
by a couple surviving taverns, a closed-by-dark gas station, a jail
and post office.
Why? Because
the town depended on a single industry, and the mines closed.
As I drive
through the booming construction sites on the ever-expanding edges
of Las Vegas houses and apartments being thrown up cheek-by-jowl,
not of brick and stone but of two-by-fours, even the chimneys for
the fake fireplaces framed of two-by-fours I often wonder
whether and when Vegas will shrink to a modest urban core of die-hard
trinket stands, surrounded by empty subdivisions, gutted and leaning
over, abandoned to the jackrabbits and the desert wind.
(If you want
a somewhat less desolate scenario, visit Virginia City or Tombstone.
A tourist attraction, perhaps, with stuntmen costumed as gangsters
carrying out a "mob hit" on Main Street every hour on
the hour from noon to 4?)
Choose your
scenario. But if we're going to be honest and take a long view,
the question is not whether, but when. Few great cities of the ancient
world stand completely abandoned. But that's because most of them
were built for a geographically logical reason. Does Las Vegas stand
at the site of a great port, the intersection of two great trade
routes, a strong point along a strategic river invasion route?
Nope. Las Vegas
is a boom town because of a confluence of historical accidents.
Out of desperation, Nevada's politicians in the Great Depression
decided to try and draw some tourism and economic activity by legalizing
"sins" that were forbidden or strongly censured elsewhere
gambling, booze, "quickie" divorce and prostitution.
The timely arrival of commercial air conditioning helped.
Then this turned
out to be a logical refueling stop for GI's being transported across
the country during World War II. And Ben Siegel figured out it was
an easy drive for those same ex-GI's when they started settling
in the post-war boom town of Los Angeles.
Showgirls,
coconut shells removed to bare their assets for the 9 o'clock show,
followed as the night from day.
But that's
all we've got, folks. That, a big hydroelectric plant, a bombing
range, and Celine. We can't fall back on the fishing fleet, the
port, the great river that allows commerce into the back country
not even the proximity of coal and iron ore deposits that
make this a logical place to build steel mills.
And is Nevada
still the only place people can come for legalized gambling or a
"quicky," six-week divorce? Of course not. Yes, prostitution
is de facto legal and protected here, as any glance through the
outcall "entertainers" section of the yellow pages makes
clear. And tourists have doubtless spent more money in the grandiose
"no-touch" lap-dance palaces of Las Vegas in the past
year than in all the Silver State's low-rent legal brothels combined.
But is it really
any harder to locate such willing ladies in Houston or any other
major convention city today?
We no longer
have a monopoly on any of this stuff. And next to several tourist
markets Amsterdam with its hashish bars, its red light district,
its superior architecture and restaurants and museums, comes quickly
to mind we already stand outclassed, despite the best efforts
of Steve Wynn.
All that's
left is cheaper airfares. Most of the Dutch even speak better English.
So, on Tuesday,
what did Nevadans do to catapult themselves back into the lead in
the only category that sustains this town's existence offering
"forbidden pleasures" to tourists sick of their puritan
environment back home?
Why, we turned
down an extremely modest half-step toward marijuana legalization
and the eventual introduction of the Dutch-style hashish bar. (I
don't believe for a moment that even 3 percent of voters shared
my concerns over this proposal's "let's-make-a-deal" tax-jail-and-regulate
paternalism.) And we told millions of visiting cigarette smokers
who have previously smiled and clapped their hands with glee upon
spotting an ashtray and learning that Nevada restaurants still have
"smoking sections" that we'd just as soon they take all
their money and fly to some casino in the Caribbean, in Asia, on
some "sovereign" Indian reservation or any other damned
place but here.
And does anyone
think these New Puritans will now fold their tents and quit the
field, content with rendering some of our favorite taverns as quiet
as the morgue at midnight? After all, they also managed to slip
through on Tuesday new economic penalties for employers who refuse
to unionize or to subsidize our current grossly overpriced, government-licensed
monopoly "health care" system, all under the guise of
a minimum wage hike. Cute.
I doubt two
years will pass before this gang is back, first to demand mandatory
free baby-sitting, and then to wave planted breathless exposes from
their mindless mouthpieces of the press, ululating that they're
shocked shocked! to learn there's illicit drug use
going on in this town's new generation of trendy upscale nightclubs,
drug use that the proprietors knew about, mind you, and which has
been known to contribute to ensuing episodes of you're not
going to believe this unprotected sex!
This gang will
not bleach, drain and strangle Vegas in the next year, of course,
or in five years. These things take time. Corporate investors will
continue to bankroll ever bigger "integrated resorts"
well beyond the likely date of my retirement party, or probably
yours.
I'm just saying
that I can now glimpse the most likely route of our destruction.
We will do it to ourselves. Hundreds of thousands of newly transplanted
California or Illinois voters who don't quite grasp the source of
all this wealth now routinely go to the polls and vote to "protect
the children," the same way the do-gooders of Pittsburgh and
Detroit wanted the regulators to "protect the children"
from the grimy pollution produced by all those nasty factories
and now wonder where our industrial base went, taking all those
good blue-collar jobs with it.
The Movement
for Moral Hygiene knows no limits. Enact their entire wish list
into law and they'll be back next year with a new one. After all,
would you want your child to point at a billboard showing women's
mostly nekkid butts as you drove her to Bible class, asking "What's
that, Mommy?"
These ignoramuses
never stop braying "for the children" till they've shut
down the very industries that gave their cities life. As though
Daddy's paycheck isn't "for the children."
Not to worry,
though: If there eventually ensues some kind of economic downturn,
the reasons for which can be debated endlessly, the government will
step in with "redevelopment subsidies" and replace those
nasty old smoke-filled jobs with new "clean industries."
Right?
Just like they
did in Goldfield.
By
the way, all those schoolteachers and municipal employees who worked
in Goldfield a century ago: They kept drawing their promised pensions
as long as they lived, right? "Government" kept all its
promises to them, since "government" can sustain itself
on good intentions even after it's finished sucking dry the husk
of the living, raucous and rowdy, market-driven municipal organism
off which it used to feed ...
Right?
November
20, 2006
Vin
Suprynowicz [send
him mail] is assistant editorial page editor of the daily Las
Vegas Review-Journal and author of The
Black Arrow.
Copyright
© 2006 Vin Suprynowicz
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