Hot Rod Lincoln
Joseph R. Stromberg
told by George W)
You've heard the story of the empire race,
Dollar and the Euro settin' the pace
Story's true, I'm here to rave
'Cause I was drivin' that Model Abe
a Claremont body, straight from the shop
Lincoln verbiage that was over the top
Had five little words, used them all
With "Neo-Con"®, it just won't stall
gears and a Perle exhaust
Wolfowitz carb, you could really get lost
Roadmap, too, I ain't scared
The Rumsfeld's good, the Powell's fair
pulled out of CENTCOM, late one night
The crescent moon was shinin' bright
I was climbin' up that Hindu Kush
Guy in the mirror looked like a Bush
you, JEB??" honk, honk)
of sudden in the a wink of an eye,
A Cadillac sedan passed me by
Ariel shouted, "Got a job for thee"
Then a telltale map was all you could see
Cheney was goadin' me from behind
I said, "Hey, I'll get into Lincoln's mind"
Consulted Jaffa and the Claremont wheels
Then shoved it down into overzeal
I wound it up to a feverish pitch
Passed Henry K, that son of a bitch
Brent Scowcroft scowled as I started to soar
But they're history, those tired old bores
figured I'd lost my sense
But the things we do, why, they're self-defense
He said, "Slow down, don't be so rude"
By the time he spoke, Iraq was screwed
I cut a few corners, sideswiped the law
Crossed my fingers just for Ma
We got there firstest and with the most,
Only one complainin' was Bob Taft's ghost
was comin' from out of Iraq
When I started to gain on that guy, Chirac
I knew I could catch him, thought I could pass
He'll be comin' to us for oil and gas
was shootin' from out of the towns
You could feel the angst of the Neo-Clowns
I said, "Pull over, boys, I got a license to fly,
Alan's inflated the money supply"
all of sudden, we heard from Putin
And we're down in the ditch, surprised by lootin'
I looked in the mirror, there was a red light blinkin'
Kofi was after me for playin' Lincoln
arrested me and threw me in jail
And called my Poppy to go my bail
He said, "Son You're gonna drive me to drinkin'
If you don't quit tryin' to be Hot Rod Lincoln."
the record and see this
Joseph R. Stromberg [send him
mail] is holder of the JoAnn B. Rothbard Chair in History at
the Ludwig von Mises Institute
and a columnist for LewRockwell.com
© 2003 LewRockwell.com