World Civilization Syllabus
Note: I taught
history for eight or so years, part time, in a sleepy community
college in a sleepy place near beaches. By the time I was doing
this, "Western Civilization" had given way to "World
Civilizations," a much friendlier concept. The textbooks began
including more and more chapters on Asia, Africa, and the Americas
than was traditional. Faced with students who knew nothing at all
Ė they were products of American high schools, after all Ė and were
unlikely to learn 30% more material than the older Western Civ courses
had called for, I did what most instructors did: I taught the Western
chapters and the one or two non-Western ones that I found interesting.
There was no PC inquiry into what we did. That is the advantage
of teaching in a sleepy backwater near beaches. In a real university,
heads would have rolled. Iím happy to be out of it; but on the small
I chance that I might someday take up the teaching of World Civ
again, I have prepared a model syllabus which is more in keeping
with the way the subject seems to be taught in real centers of learning.
I: AGE OF RACISM, SEXISM, AND GREED
Racism, sexism, patriarchy, homophobia, hierarchy, homicide, and
greed invented by European White Folks. High civilizations flourish
on other continents; unfortunately, they neglect to leave any written
records or impressive artifacts. Something was going on in China.
1000 BC, more
or less. Dwellers on edge of desert invent monotheism with universal
ethic. Unfortunately, European White Folks take this over by first
century A.D. and introduce racism, sexism, etc., into it.
Greek branch of European White Folks display minor achievements.
These they stole from the Egyptians, who were mostly Nubians. The
most important Greek contribution was to alternate lifestyles. And
donít forget about SLAVERY. (I caught you nodding off just then.)
200 BC to 450
AD.* Roman branch of European White Folks unify
Mediterranean world. They are best remembered for importing new
cults and foreign immigrants into Italy. You mustnít forget about
450 AD. Unspeakable
Germanic White Folks topple Roman Empire in west. Racism, sexism,
etc., go through the roof.
Dark Ages, characterized by Christianity, racism, sexism, etc. Europeans
live in mud huts and fight with sticks, while high civilizations,
which unfortunately left few records or material artifacts, thrive
900 AD. Aztecs
invent new universal religion with strong emphasis on individual
sacrifice for the common good.
going on in China.
Renaissance. Revival of ancient Greek texts promotes creative lifestyle
choices along with hermetic mysticism, astrology, and alchemy, breaking
stranglehold of racist, sexist, etc., Catholic Church.
attempt to organize progressive Central Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere.
II: AGE OF IMPERIALIST RACISM, SEXISM, AND GREED
1492 AD. Genoese
navigator Christopher Columbus imposes Spanish Catholic version
of racism, sexism, etc. on western hemisphere. A long period of
SLAVERY (you almost forgot), rape, pillage, and religious faith
ensues, which is only brought to an end by Dr. Fidel Castro in 1959.
Growth of racist, sexist English colonies in North America. Because
of the law of gravity, most of the racism, sexism, etc., came to
be concentrated in the South. This problem has not yet been fully
addressed. SLAVERY is the only explanation for events in this period.
going on in China.
Sexist, racist American Revolution. This is only important for Five
Words ("all men are created equal") and the creation of
a state that would one day rule the world in order to undo racism,
sexism, etc. Students will prepare term paper on SLAVERY.
here, Thomas Jefferson fathers Hemmings children.
Sexist, racist pioneers flow across North America, creating Gun
Culture. Second term paper on SLAVERY.
John C. Calhoun invents states rights, a notion of which no one
had any inkling prior to his writings.
1837 AD. Sexist,
racist, Calvinist Dutch farmers ravage South Africa, killing all
the inhabitants, who nevertheless survive as political majority
awaiting arrival of Xhosa-Communist regime in 1994. Do I need to
Sexist, racist rebellion by Southern pocket of evil. Put down with
insufficient bloodshed by inspired leadership carrying out the Will
of History. Omelette of Reconstruction defeated by failure to break
Some kind of
war in China.
III: AGE OF MARX, LENIN, AND HARRY HOPKINS
Europeans live in mud huts and fight with sticks. Americans spend
their time engaging in racism, sexism, etc. Hardly anything is produced.
European civil war disrupts civilization but makes possible human
liberation via Bolshevism.
Fascism threatens bright promise of Bolshevism.
Racist, sexist Europeans again at war. Slightly less racist side
prevails, owing to assistance of Soviet Union. Some deaths reported.
War chiefly fought over genocide in which every German willingly
on in China.
US Government unfortunately diverted by lengthy quarrel with Soviet
Union. US takes up its historical mission to purge the earth of
racism, sexism, Christianity, etc., from 1990 forward.
1999 AD. US
air forces bomb European White Folks for the first time since heroic
age of World War II. A great victory for anti-racism.
POP QUIZ: 1.
The bombing of Guernica was a crime never to be forgotten. 2. The
bombing of Dresden was a necessary aspect of doing Good. Explain.
* in a fully
executed parody these would be "BCE" and "CE."
My fingers just wonít type that.
R. Stromberg [send him mail]
is holder of the JoAnn B. Rothbard Chair in History at the Ludwig
von Mises Institute and a columnist for LewRockwell.com
© 2002 LewRockwell.com
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