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 FEATURES  Nasty, brutish and on
credit Theodore Dalrymple has
discovered Britain’s spiritual centre, and finds it ugly, aimless
and noisy Who says the leisure class is no more? On the
contrary, as a recent weekday visit to the new spiritual heart of
Britain revealed to me, it is very large indeed. Of course, the
modern leisure class is not necessarily very high on the
registrar-general’s scale of social classes from I to V, but that is
another matter altogether.
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| But where, you ask, is Britain’s new spiritual
centre? The very idea of such a centre seems a bit odd — absurd
even. It is certainly not Rome or Jerusalem, much less Canterbury.
In good pagan fashion, Britain’s spiritual centre is close to its
geographical centre. The answer is the Bull Ring, Birmingham, or
rather — as it is now called — Bullring.
The unutterably
hideous Bull Ring (on the site of which there has been a market for
800 years) has been torn down, except for the Rotunda — a horrible
1960s monument to British architects’ incessant search for
originality in the absence of taste or imagination — which has been
preserved by the kind of criminals who allowed it to be built in the
first place, in the hope that by doing so their own lack of taste
and imagination will be justified or overlooked. The only suitable
penalty for the architects, town-planners and city councillors of
the Birmingham of the 1960s is death.
A vast modern shopping
centre that has been erected on the site is meretriciousness made
flesh, or rather breezeblock, steel and glass. As one would expect,
the buildings lack overall unity of conception and do not blend in
any pleasing manner: they are rather the architectural equivalent of
MTV, a series of images that arbitrarily succeed one another. They
are buildings for people without a concentration span.
It is
hardly surprising that the buildings are meretricious: planning
permission demands that they have a lifespan of only 30 years, after
which they may be pulled down and something else equally transient
erected in their place. (Birmingham’s Central Library, a
preternaturally ugly and uncleanable inverted step pyramid of
concrete, which replaced the magnificent and thoughtlessly
demolished Victorian library, is to be pulled down after about 30
years.) This is not the way to build a civilised city.
Selfridges & Company’s new department store, which gives
on to the thoroughfare called Digbeth, is now known locally by some
as the Digbeth Dalek, on account of its wavy external wall of blue
punctuated by large silvery buttons. There isn’t anything else like
it in the world, nor should there be: uniqueness in art or
architecture is no guarantee of merit or virtue in itself, and in
the hands of British architects is usually a guarantee of their very
opposite.
This famous wall is already dirty and looks
shabby, only a few months into its 30-year existence; the glass roof
of much of the shopping centre is also already dirty. Knowing
Britain as I do, it is a fair bet that the wall and the glass roof
will be cleaned infrequently, if at all, because cleaning means
costs rather than profit, and the British population has made
perfectly clear by its behaviour that it doesn’t mind squalor in the
least.
The inside of Selfridges is extremely disturbing, but
revelatory of the soul of modern man in his British incarnation. The
ceilings are raw, with a tangle of pipes covered in what looks like
aluminium foil: the architectural equivalent of a permanent
laparotomy. Needless to say, it will look merely dilapidated in no
time at all, but for the moment its magpie brightness will attract
many people unaccustomed to thinking about what they look at; that
is to say all those who, in the words of Sherlock Holmes, see but do
not observe.
Much worse, however, is the constant thump of
very loud pop music everywhere you go, as inescapable as the
political propaganda of a totalitarian regime. Selfridges is like a
discotheque with merchandise. Each department on the open floor plan
has its own music, so as you pass from one department to another,
you have not one but two sources of music, producing a nerve-racking
discord. One insistent primitive rhythm is a terrible misfortune;
two is hell. Not surprisingly, perhaps, the experience reminded me
of prison, where each prisoner plays his own slum-music at full
volume in his cell, resulting in exactly the same nerve-racking
sensation for those outside the cells.
What disturbed me
even more, though, was that no one seemed in the least disturbed: on
the contrary, everyone seemed so thoroughly accustomed to this
cacophony that they hardly noticed it, much less objected to it. But
what kind of people are so thoroughly inured to their surroundings
as this? Is everyone who enters Bullring a saddhu who has renounced
the world and is indifferent to his material existence? Hardly:
saddhus are found in caves and mountainsides, not in huge emporia
selling the latest fashions, Manchester United T-shirts and playing
the loudest CDs.
The thump of different music and the
constant, brightly lit movement of the new shopping centre are
tolerable to, or sought out by, those raised on videos to whom all
stillness and silence are anathema, and as disturbing as cacophony
is to me. They are people so wrapped up in their own world — the
world of passive, vicarious entertainment — that they have no mental
energy left for the reality around them, which they screen out
unseen and unheard. Bullring is the kingdom of the solipsistic
crowd.
Shopping — in the sense of the ceaseless search for
the next object that will thrill for a moment and satisfy for a
minute — is the main interest of people without purpose. The problem
with the British is that they are not even very good at shopping,
just as they are not very good at their other passion, football, to
judge by the results. For to be good at shopping requires
discrimination, which itself requires some mental cultivation. And
it is precisely the lack of this that makes British shops (on the
whole — of course, there are exceptions) so deeply dispiriting.
The huge crowds of shoppers in the Bullring on a Tuesday
afternoon raised a few questions that, not being an economist, I
could not answer. Were these people unemployed, having a day off
work or what? Where did the money come from that they were spending?
I could see from their whole manner of being that they were not the
kind of people with large disposable incomes. Then insight came to
me in a flash, like repentance in a novel by Dostoevsky: they were
shopping on credit, of course. The British economy is a vast pyramid
scheme based on credit, on consumption unequalled or even
approximated by production that must collapse sooner or later, as
all such schemes must.
Of course, crime is never far away in
Britain. The British being a nation of shoplifters, security guards
were everywhere: you could tell them by their dark glasses and their
earpieces and microphones connected to a command centre somewhere,
looking like hi-tech Tontons Macoutes.
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