We instinctively knew it all along, but now it looks like it's confirmed: our beloved president, William Jefferson Blythe IV Clinton, is indeed a bastard. It turns out that old rapscallion Bill Jeff Blythe III was still married to Wanetta Alexander when he allegedly tied the knot to Virginia Cassidy, who bears the enormous weight of historical guilt for giving birth to that Creep in the White House.

But if Bill Jeff III was married when he hitched up with Ginny, this makes him a bigamist, and it makes that Man in the White House a bastard.

Here's some grist for the office betting pool: when will the next half-brother/half-sister of Bill Jeff IV turn up? Talk about "traveling salesman stereotypes!"

How many Triple R readers don't know how many siblings they have? Is this a Jukes family in the White House, or what?

Do we want a bastard in the White House? Impeach Clinton!