Go West, Man
by Michael Robb Cokes have not tasted as good as they used to because of the substitution of corn syrup for sugar. Coke tried something like this once before in the 1980s and it was a big flop. If you want a coke that's worth drinking keep going west. Out here you can get all the real Coke you want, made with real sugar, in glass bottles or can. As far as buying things is concerned, you can also buy a quart of good gin in the grocery store for $0.67. That's 67 cents for gov't school graduates. (My typing keyboard doesn't even have a cent sign on it anymore). You can hire a plumber all day for $10. A full-time house maid earns $60 a month. She does the wash too, and irons your underwear. The young man who drives my cars eats and sleeps at his home about half the time and I pay him about $150 a month. My gardener and maintenance man lives here, and works 26 days a month for $160 a month, The brand-new high-tech hospital has pre-registered all in my family so that there can be no delay in admitting any of us in case of emergency, or for any other reason. In fact the CEO and Chief Neurologist made a house call to see us and get our histories. We know the owner, but he will pre-register everyone. All the physicians are board certified. He is a very accommodating fellow. The King of North Korea wanted to invest in some businesses here so he bought them for him, and then went up there to see him and sign over all the papers. My neurologist charges me $9 when I visit him. for a checkup, or to write a prescription. If you would like to have a complete medical blood test of the standard items just walk into any of the private labs you find everywhere and pay $10 and come back later that day to pick up the report. (Of course you can do that too, if you go to a Vet, but it is illegal). Hong Kong is our nearest neighbor. The airfare over to their new airport is $39. It is a one and a half hour flight, which would be about 800 miles, I think. Can you fly from Atlanta to Chicago for $39 up and $39 back? I can. But I'm in Hong Kong when I do that. If you haven't been to Hong Kong lately, you've probably missed something. I could go there to buy several cases of black fountain pen ink which is no longer worth buying in Western countries. Why? It is no longer black, but merely a badly dull kind of dark grey. Did you know that had been stolen from you? Why do such things happen to nice people? Do you have some projects you'd like researched and enacted on your computers? A good tech will show up and work all day for $20. He can even bring you Vista Ultimate for another $20 (although he would try to talk you out of using it). For another $20 you can have a dozen of the latest movies on DVD. The well-known general surgeon who has such a good reputation will remove some of my moles so I don't look so much like Lincoln, in the operating room, for about $40. The local franchise car repair location can change all your shock absorbers, springs, bushings, pads, and motor mounts for $60 plus $40 each for the gas shocks. This tends to make your car run more safely, securely, quietly; and with fewer rattles, more like new. It takes one afternoon. If the AC is not cooling like it used to, they will put in a couple cans of Freon for about $5 each, just like you always did. They can make a house call, too, if you need some gears replaced in your transmission. They do not drop any oil on your driveway either. Two rather large friendly countries to the North and West of here, namely China and India, each sport two new DDT factories. There has developed a renewed interest in making these worlds safe from malaria and other deadly insect born diseases. The delivered prices are reasonable and affordable. This is also true of the latest pharmaceutical products produced in these nations for sale abroad to the immense joy and satisfaction of their worldwide clientele. Fresh fruit and vegetables are plentiful. I bought 22 pieces of fresh okra for 29 cents. Our parrot likes to eat fresh okra. He cost $54. The reason he is so expensive is because his species was endangered by the national gov't and it is very difficult to supply any more to the stores. He is very sweet and says, "I love you, Papa" He is very responsible too, and looks out for all the other birds, and announces callers or visitors, etc., and attends to many other worthwhile things around the house...including listening to Mozart and whistling along. The hardwood narra tree has also been endangered by the national gov't and is almost extinct. We pay a caretaker at one of the older cemeteries with many trees to collect leaf seedpods for us every season, and we bring them home to propagate with loving care in the fertile ground in our front and back yards. I would say we have already set out about 50,000,000 currency units worth of hardwood narra trees so highly prized by the populace here and unavailable except for what is left of old burnt out tree trunks. So, if you still want that swell-tasting, ice-cold Coke in a real glass bottle, go on West, Man. See what else they have that you can use, too, while you are there. May 11, 2007 Michael Robb [send him mail] is a retired stockbroker and trader living outside the United State on an island between Hong Kong and Singapore, his two favorite places to visit. Copyright © 2007 LewRockwell.com |
