Messing With Yellow Jackets

Wow, I stripped down to my short pants to mow the lawn on Monday afternoon and managed to accidentally trigger jihad in a yellow jacket when I apparently disturbed his nesting spot with my gasoline-powered Weed Eater.

I didn’t even see it coming.

I was just whacking down weeds, when, kaboom, suddenly it felt like someone had jabbed me with a sharp needle full of something as nasty as Karl Rove in a nightie.

Instant and intense pain.

Yes, that yellow jacket bit me.

I mean, seriously, that little fellow planted a stinger a few inches above my left ankle and had me jumping around like I’d just plugged my big toe into our clothes dryer’s 220 outlet.

I didn’t realize I could still move that quickly at age 57.

But I did and managed to slap him away, run up the slope of the yard to safety before any possible brethren of his came after me, and then pulled out the stinger and as yet not depleted poison sac.

How’s that for fast?

I moved faster than a draining yellow jacket’s poison sac.

Even so, that sting hurt worse than having to sit down to a Sunday dinner with Karl Rove.

Like a dummy, instead of coming into the house to research what to do about a yellow jacket sting, I acted tough and shook it off and went back and finished the yard work.

I finally put some stuff called MicroMinerals on it after finishing the yard work and taking a shower, but that didn’t help much so I just went to bed, figuring it would be fine in the morning.

I didn’t sleep much.

Tuesday morning I got up and did the homework I should have done as soon as I got stung.

I learned that vinegar, onion slices, and baking soda work well for removing stings from wasps and hornets.

So I went down to the kitchen and mixed together…

1 teaspoon of chopped onions

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 teaspoon of unpasteurized apple cider vinegar

I smushed the above three ingredients in a bowl and wrapped the resulting mess in a piece of cotton cloth and applied that to the bite with just a little pressure.

Within fifteen minutes the itching and pain had dissipated.

As I write these words seven hours later, the spot where I was nailed by that flying syringe of sting is just about back to normal.

Moral: If you get stung by a bee, wasp, or hornet, have the sense to stop what you’re doing and immediately apply the above home remedy and save yourself hours of itching and annoying pain.

Oh yes, if you’re allergic to insect bites or if you get stung by several bees or wasps at once, visit your favorite natural health practitioner and get professional help, because stings like these can be life-threatening for some people.

August 6, 2005