Ireland Ought To Invade England – For Her Own Good
by William Wall
Example of the Free World
intend to argue that Ireland, a neutral country which has put its
faith in the United Nations and international law, should now follow
the example of other countries in the free world.
was, at one time, a Celtic country, and deserves to be ruled again
by Celts. English people in general show a marked predilection to
be ruled by Celts anyway. The predominance of Scots in parliament
and of Scots, Welsh and Irish on the telly and radio are proof enough,
if proof were needed. Anschluss (or, as we say in Celtic Aontas)
with Ireland would create an enormous pan-Celtic nation unleashing
the kind of creativity and linguistic bravado which the English
so admire in us, and which has been suppressed by Anglo-Saxon sang-froid
for the last thousand years or so. Under the benign rule of Dublin,
England could once again blossom and become that precious jewel
that Shakespeare mentioned in a play about illegal arrest and detention
in a previous century.
is an avowed possessor of weapons of mass-destruction. This may,
of course be a bluff. It is quite possible that the much-vaunted
nuclear warheads are merely aluminium tubes imported from Niger,
or disused drainpipes. Certainly, England has a vested interest
in conveying the impression to the world that it is still a powerful
has used mustard gas – against its European neighbours (in WWI),
and against Arabs
in Iraq. It has subverted the international order by gathering
intelligence on its neighbours and The
Human Rights Record
has illegally invaded other countries – even in recent years – and
is currently an illegal occupying power in Iraq.
is guilty of human rights abuses against its own people, most notably
the killing of thirteen people by the parachute regiment on Bloody
Sunday was found guilty of ‘inhuman
treatment of prisoners’ by an international court; and more
recently has been interning
Muslims as part of a trumped up war on terror. (It is impossible
to wage war on a state of mind, but if we must, hunger would be
a better target.)
the country is governed by a very unattractive man, one who keeps
both the Koran and the Bible always by his bedside. Whatever
we may think of this, and hedging springs to mind, it certainly
makes him a dangerous fanatic. He has frequently been described
as having a messianic outlook on life. He has deceived his people,
imposed restrictions on the free press, denied human rights to (admittedly
less significant) British Muslims and Irish people and lied to parliament.
He rules in a country where the head of state is also, de jure,
of the state religion.
would liberate England from the control of a fanatical Prime Minister
and theocratic monarchy, and introduce the most complicated proportional
representation electoral system in the world. It would jump-start
England’s ailing economy using the same strategies that led to the
much-vaunted Celtic Tiger (tax-breaks for multinationals) and bring
the education system up to a par with Ireland’s. In short, we would
bring civilisation to this benighted state.
am formally appealing to the international community to support
Ireland’s invasion in a grand coalition of the silly.
Wall is an Irish novelist and poet.
© 2004 LewRockwell.com