The Scales Fell From My Military Eyes by John Schroder

Recently, former Arizona Cardinals football player turned Army Ranger Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan. His death has spawned a host of commentary within the sports world. His jersey number is to be retired by the Cardinals, who are also planning to name a "Freedom Plaza" in their new stadium after the fallen soldier. By all accounts, Tillman was a man to be admired. He left the glamour of the NFL for the rigors of the military because he felt it was his duty in light of 9-11. Coming out of high school, he was considered too small for most college football programs, but went on to become the Pacific Ten’s defensive player of the year as a senior. Just for good measure, he graduated Summa Cum Laude from Arizona State in three and a half years. Concerns about his size still lingered as he entered the NFL, but he soon set the Cardinals team record for tackles in a season.

Pat Tillman’s death will certainly mean different things to different people. Bush backers will certainly praise the man for donning a military uniform and fighting for this country. These same people will also probably mention the likes of Ted Williams or Hank Greenberg as former athletes who heeded the call when the nation went to war. Much time will probably be given to the fact that "back in the day" athletes were just like the rest of us, just more talented. While I too lament the fact that there is such a gap between athlete and solider today, I can not get past the fact that Tillman died for something that I no longer believe exists, or better yet, ever existed. In other words, I no longer believe in "back in the day." Perhaps a similar feeling is what spawned F. A. Hayek’s "Why I Am Not A Conservative," because once nostalgia is taken out of the equation, what is left of modern conservatism?

When I was a young child, I can remember getting the mail one day to find a postcard from some friends of my parents who were in Hawaii. The postcard was of the Pearl Harbor Memorial. I began asking questions about why it was significant, and thus got one of my first lessons in America the Beautiful. I can remember very vividly asking the question, "Have we ever lost a war?" My mother did her best to explain Vietnam in a positive light. All in all, that day left me with the feeling that America fought only when provoked, or for righteous reasons. These feelings were perpetuated throughout my youth. Hollywood was no doubt a big part of why I eventually ended up in the military. It is difficult to be raised on a healthy dose of The Sands of Iwo Jima, The Longest Day, or Patton, and not be drawn to the uniform, as were my other two brothers, one of whom is gearing up for Iraqi Freedom round two.

In short, I believed in America, complete with all its monuments, holidays, parades, pledges, and even politicians. At 19, I swore to defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Two years ago, Pat Tillman took that same oath. He took that oath because he felt it was his duty, and that is admirable. Unfortunately, the policy makers into whose hands he put his life, have not been nearly so admirable, but this is nothing new, it has been going on for centuries. In America, it has been going on at least since Lincoln. Pat Tillman’s death, rather than inspiring to me, simply upsets me, because I do believe all the wonderful things being said and written about him. I just can no longer believe all the wonderful things that the Ministry of Propaganda tries to make me believe about America.

As a young officer, I once gave my Marines a class on rules of engagement prior to an exercise. Discussion eventually came around to whether or not torture could be acceptable in certain circumstances. My reply was simply that as soon as we starting doing that sort of thing, winning or losing no longer mattered, as we would be no better than the enemy we were trying to defeat. Memories of that class came back to me as pictures of American soldiers torturing Iraqi prisoners came to light recently on CBS. This is but a small example, but for me, it is just one more reminder that fighting for America is the equivalent of being Kenneth Lay’s lawyer: to defend either probably means having to check your morals at the door.

Many sports commentators have said that there will never be another Pat Tillman. This is sad on several levels, but most importantly because it implies that today’s America is no longer capable of producing honorable, stand-up, hard-working men of character. I can only guess, that like 9-11, Pat Tillman’s death will teach the wrong lesson. Whereas the war hawks will lament the death of a patriot, we should lament the fact that being a patriot now means unyielding devotion to an American ideal that is anything but.