It is always thus when a Celebrity bites the dust due to some human failure: his enemies eviscerate him, his allies laud and protect.
Not too many months ago, Michael (Weiner) Savage extinguished himself on MSNBC with an on-camera expectoration directed at a caller that he should die of AIDS. Savage's lame and totally unbelievable excuse: he "didn't know the mike was still on," an excuse that comes in Second behind "The Dog Ate My Homework." Anyone so ignorant and/or naïve has no business being in Major League Broadcasting. Immediately, Savage's little myrmidons came out slashing and burning MSNBC and anyone else who would dare point out the little man's botching what had been a major career move. More objective folks were able to see the bullet hole Savage himself put squarely through his foot.
Rush's addiction mea culpa isn't quite as cut ‘n dried as the Stupid Host Trick mentioned above. Limbaugh's problems spin on three points.
1. The Addiction
Most broadcasts, broadcasters, writers and pundits have set their focus here. Except as an education piece for the wantonly ignorant, it comes as no surprise that today's painkillers and muscle relaxers have serious addictive qualities. That's why God gave us the fine print on the front of the bottle. Rush is a reasonably intelligent man with good reading skills. Nevertheless, chemicals aren't prejudiced and can just as easily get a smart man hooked just like any other moron. Only the Sickest of the Sick would wish Limbaugh anything but the best and an expedient recovery.
2. The Law
This is where it gets kinda sticky. Some writers are starting to realize and focus on the fact that, when you're finished paddling through the pity, that pesky Legal System is still there waiting to do its "….and Justice for all" thing.
If the news stories are credible – and so far, even the paper gave us the "Aliens Gave Me An Anal Probe" story has not been proven wrong on points – Rush bought vast quantities of legal drugs illegally. The big problem is not that he did it but how he did it. That ugly part involved coercively "employing" the services of his once-upon-a-time maid to be his mule. It may be debatable whether the local or federal prosecutors will come after Limbaugh for his using or purchasing. But it's more than difficult to conclude they can or will ignore the Mule Factor. If Rush has a legal problem, it lies within the Method not the Means.
3. The Conclusion
The Wanna-Be buzzards are already circling – and not without good reason. Over the 15 years Rush has been sharing his "Talent On Loan From God" with us, a substantial number of talk show hosts – "with talent on loan from Wal-Mart" – have found themselves unemployed. Not only because of Limbaugh's 3 hour takeover of 600 stations' day that put them on the beach but for the raft of other syndicated hosts who were talented enough to come to the rescue of financially ailing stations in need of something better than they had in other dayparts.
What will be seen as the fatal flaw in Limbaugh's success is his heavy-handed treatment of the moral underpinnings of his lofty conservative "Attila the Hun" chair. After berating Kurt Cobain and Darryl Strawberry and bemoaning not enough white guys going to prison for drug use, it's going to be impossible for Rush to resume his show with the same moral tone and content that made him the King of Talk Radio. Now he'll sound just like the other guys.
In his Oct. 10th Mea Culpa closing comments, he said, "I am not a role model." But he did repeat numerous times that he is "your epitome of morality of virtue, a man you could totally trust with your wife, your daughter, and even your son in a Motel 6 overnight." Maybe so – if he had enough pills to deal with one of their mattresses. It may come back to haunt him like some of his other cutesy clichés already are. Recently posted on the FreeRepublic web site: "With talent on loan from Merck."
It's a standard fascination Americans have with scandals like these. But Rush's problems transcend a mere human spectacle or even hypocrisy. He has his own demons within him as Newsweek and other articles detailed: reclusiveness, depression, social awkwardness, all of which were part of the baggage that made the trip with him to New York City 15 years ago. Detox is tough enough. Toss the Ego Monster and some of his buds into the room and it won't matter much how swanky the "spa," a Hillary Clinton presidency would be easier to endure.
I know him, worked with him a little and liked the man I met. Of course I wish him the best. If he comes back it will be just to say good-bye.
October 16, 2003
